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Originally Posted by Anonymous
I've been with the association as a referee since 2002 and let me tell you I've never thrown a parent out and I've never let any of them get to me if you have rabbit ears this job is not for you to have to ignore them. Wen you are officialting in front of 30,000 people do you think you have time to pay attention to all 30,000 of them so what's the difference here a bunch of soccer moms on the sideline. You have to let it go because if you start dealing with them then they won because they got under your skin and ruin the game just ignore them. The only people I've dealt with are the players on the field and the coaching staff that's it that's all I respect. When I'm in the middle I swear I do not even know the parents are there and when I'm on the line I will not even answer them to give them the time. They will ask me how much time is left and I will not even answer them and then they know that I am going to completely ignore them no matter what they say.

I know some idiot here is going to say that I'm being rude by not giving them a time however this usually leads to them thinking were in the same level and then a funny joke like wow even the ref probably like that goal LOL and he's expecting a chuckle from me then he thinks he's on the same level as me so then 20 minutes later when I call an offside he'll start beating me and ask me for an explanation because he thinks we're on the same level now so that's my point is better off not even to talk to them
I won't say you're being rude, I will say you're being an ass. Has this "ignore even the most innocent question/comment" really made a difference in people complaining about your calls?

My opinion, being willing to answer at least basic questions (during downtime of course) would actually have a better impact than ignoring them. Obviously it's a case by case basis and each game/comment/question needs to be judged on their own. Someone asking how much time is left may be there for the next game and wants to know if things are running behind, by how much, etc.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
I've been with the association as a referee since 2002 and let me tell you I've never thrown a parent out and I've never let any of them get to me if you have rabbit ears this job is not for you to have to ignore them. Wen you are officialting in front of 30,000 people do you think you have time to pay attention to all 30,000 of them so what's the difference here a bunch of soccer moms on the sideline. You have to let it go because if you start dealing with them then they won because they got under your skin and ruin the game just ignore them. The only people I've dealt with are the players on the field and the coaching staff that's it that's all I respect. When I'm in the middle I swear I do not even know the parents are there and when I'm on the line I will not even answer them to give them the time. They will ask me how much time is left and I will not even answer them and then they know that I am going to completely ignore them no matter what they say.

I know some idiot here is going to say that I'm being rude by not giving them a time however this usually leads to them thinking were in the same level and then a funny joke like wow even the ref probably like that goal LOL and he's expecting a chuckle from me then he thinks he's on the same level as me so then 20 minutes later when I call an offside he'll start beating me and ask me for an explanation because he thinks we're on the same level now so that's my point is better off not even to talk to them
I won't say you're being rude, I will say you're being an ass. Has this "ignore even the most innocent question/comment" really made a difference in people complaining about your calls?

My opinion, being willing to answer at least basic questions (during downtime of course) would actually have a better impact than ignoring them. Obviously it's a case by case basis and each game/comment/question needs to be judged on their own. Someone asking how much time is left may be there for the next game and wants to know if things are running behind, by how much, etc.

I've been a referee since 2013 and here is my 2 cents. I had all those scenarios that have been mentioned above like doing AR and answering innocent questions and then later on I hear complains about bad center ref calls and expecting me to agree with complainers as I am on their side or worse when me calling or no calling offside or what ever and become 'no friend' anymore. It's not a pleasant situation for a referee. To avoid that I am trying not to get involved in conversations with spectators at all regardless if a person asking questions seems like a decent person. For a person trying to engage in short and innocent (in their view) conversation with ref it seems like not a big deal, which might be correct but for the referee who is doing game after game and knowing what could happen next is very annoying. Usually with youth games, parents are sitting almost on the side line and assistant referee hears all what they saying about ref calls and then they ask a question about what time left or something else. Spectators need to understand that not asking any question those who are working (refs) is more polite than asking questions.
And sometimes, I answer questions hoping that it won't affect my job and sometimes I am sorry I did.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
I won't say you're being rude, I will say you're being an ass. Has this "ignore even the most innocent question/comment" really made a difference in people complaining about your calls?

My opinion, being willing to answer at least basic questions (during downtime of course) would actually have a better impact than ignoring them. Obviously it's a case by case basis and each game/comment/question needs to be judged on their own. Someone asking how much time is left may be there for the next game and wants to know if things are running behind, by how much, etc.

I've been a referee since 2013 and here is my 2 cents. I had all those scenarios that have been mentioned above like doing AR and answering innocent questions and then later on I hear complains about bad center ref calls and expecting me to agree with complainers as I am on their side or worse when me calling or no calling offside or what ever and become 'no friend' anymore. It's not a pleasant situation for a referee. To avoid that I am trying not to get involved in conversations with spectators at all regardless if a person asking questions seems like a decent person. For a person trying to engage in short and innocent (in their view) conversation with ref it seems like not a big deal, which might be correct but for the referee who is doing game after game and knowing what could happen next is very annoying. Usually with youth games, parents are sitting almost on the side line and assistant referee hears all what they saying about ref calls and then they ask a question about what time left or something else. Spectators need to understand that not asking any question those who are working (refs) is more polite than asking questions.
And sometimes, I answer questions hoping that it won't affect my job and sometimes I am sorry I did.[/quote]
So do you hear less complaints/comments on the games when you stay silent? If you think it works, go for it. I've had conversations with refs during extended downtimes (injuries, ball WAY out of play, etc). It could be about the heat, where they're from (if a large tournament), or I don't know what. It has nothing to do with being their "friend" and expecting "help" on a call. It is more just being friendly. I've had one ref tell me they're not allowed to talk to spectators (at a regional tournament). So I didn't. MOST parents don't have nefarious intentions just like MOST referees are doing a good job. A few of each gives others in their group a bad name.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
So do you hear less complaints/comments on the games when you stay silent? If you think it works, go for it. I've had conversations with refs during extended downtimes (injuries, ball WAY out of play, etc). It could be about the heat, where they're from (if a large tournament), or I don't know what. It has nothing to do with being their "friend" and expecting "help" on a call. It is more just being friendly. I've had one ref tell me they're not allowed to talk to spectators (at a regional tournament). So I didn't. MOST parents don't have nefarious intentions just like MOST referees are doing a good job. A few of each gives others in their group a bad name.

Right, "most parents don't have nefarious intentions" and it's true but it takes just one to ruin my job. Imagine this, you're doing 4 - 5 games in one day and one game goes to hell and you're stressed and you have to do a few more games and you are not the same anymore and one innocent question asking by a parent in your next game is not innocent for you anymore and a parent can get a very harsh response from a ref when in other case parent could get ok response. You can think of that ref as an ass but in reality he/she is not. Remember most refs are not professional referees and they don't get trained to deal with all that distasteful situations. And ,yes, some referees are not nice people as some of the coaches and parents, which is not helping.
The other your question on if we hear less comments if we stay silent (don't be smart *). No, we hear the same but there is no appealing to me on personal level, which makes my job easier. It's part of our job to hear disagreement on our calls as there are always two sides where one side is not happy when calls happen against their side. And it's totally fine as long it's not turning into personal. I am happy to talk with parents after the game when they come to me and ask to explain some rules and they ask in polite way.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
I've been with the association as a referee since 2002 and let me tell you I've never thrown a parent out and I've never let any of them get to me if you have rabbit ears this job is not for you to have to ignore them. Wen you are officialting in front of 30,000 people do you think you have time to pay attention to all 30,000 of them so what's the difference here a bunch of soccer moms on the sideline. You have to let it go because if you start dealing with them then they won because they got under your skin and ruin the game just ignore them. The only people I've dealt with are the players on the field and the coaching staff that's it that's all I respect. When I'm in the middle I swear I do not even know the parents are there and when I'm on the line I will not even answer them to give them the time. They will ask me how much time is left and I will not even answer them and then they know that I am going to completely ignore them no matter what they say.

I know some idiot here is going to say that I'm being rude by not giving them a time however this usually leads to them thinking were in the same level and then a funny joke like wow even the ref probably like that goal LOL and he's expecting a chuckle from me then he thinks he's on the same level as me so then 20 minutes later when I call an offside he'll start beating me and ask me for an explanation because he thinks we're on the same level now so that's my point is better off not even to talk to them

You’re obviously a very experienced referee but comparing youth soccer to a professional match with 30,000 fans is just not a fair comparison. The Red Bulls and NYCFC don’t even sell that many tickets for their matches. Also those fans pay to see the match and they have a right to complain and whine as long as it stays within certain behavioral standards.

Great that you don’t have rabbit ears but did you ever think of the 16 year old referee when you are ignoring loud inappropriate comments?

While you are a highly experienced referee you are not a good role model because you admit that you have no respect for the spectators. Not all spectators are obnoxious and respect is a two way street. Saying that they are not on your level is just anti-social and disrespectful. Of course your knowledge of the LOTG is superior to the parents, that’s why you are getting paid to do it we expect you to have a superior knowledge of the LOTG!

We are there to call the game not explain it this is true but one time I worked a line for a National Referee and after the game a parent approached him to ask him about the yellow card he gave his daughter. It was handled so well and he explained it so kindly and without emotion that the parent had nowhere to go with it. I learned something that day. So if I have time after a game and a Coach or parent approach me in a respectful manner to ask me about a call I made I try my best to have a pleasant conversation and explain it.

After a few years most referees get a feel for people and can read what kind of game it will be based on how people act before the game. Sometimes Coaches start out very friendly and then turn on you when their team starts losing. Either way by the 10th minute of the game you get the tone and flavor on how the match will go.

So yes sometimes less is more and not engaging with hostile people is a good strategy. But not all people are bad so we should be acting accordingly. You may not like the idea that referees represent the sport and can be ambassadors for the game but that can also be our role.

I would like to know why do you continue to referee games, what motivates you to continue on in something that is not easy to do?

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Originally Posted by LIRef77
Also those fans pay to see the match and they have a right to complain and whine as long as it stays within certain behavioral standards.
I agree with everything you posted except the part I quoted above. Either spectators have the right to complain and whine (within standards) or they don't. "Paying to see the match" shouldn't factor into it. The parents you see on the sideline are also paying... uniforms, registration fees, team fees, and travel fees. Do you have a dollar figure that once you've paid you have a right to complain?

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Also those fans pay to see the match and they have a right to complain and whine as long as it stays within certain behavioral standards.
I agree with everything you posted except the part I quoted above. Either spectators have the right to complain and whine (within standards) or they don't. "Paying to see the match" shouldn't factor into it. The parents you see on the sideline are also paying... uniforms, registration fees, team fees, and travel fees. Do you have a dollar figure that once you've paid you have a right to complain?

No you are wrong, you are paying for your child you are not a paying spectator, big difference. Also what club is your child with? Check your club’s behavior policy it has certain standards that specifically state behavioral standards and what constitutes violations of those standards, that includes being loud and openly yelling at an official. Your league also has standards but many of you parents do no comply, read or care about them. ENYYSA also has standards and you are obviously not aware of that either.

I don’t care how much you paid to register and equip your child you did not pay for a ticket at a stadium to watch a game. You cannot compare your proximity to the field in a youth game to a game played in a stadium. It’s apples and oranges.

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Originally Posted by LIRef77
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Also those fans pay to see the match and they have a right to complain and whine as long as it stays within certain behavioral standards.
I agree with everything you posted except the part I quoted above. Either spectators have the right to complain and whine (within standards) or they don't. "Paying to see the match" shouldn't factor into it. The parents you see on the sideline are also paying... uniforms, registration fees, team fees, and travel fees. Do you have a dollar figure that once you've paid you have a right to complain?

No you are wrong, you are paying for your child you are not a paying spectator, big difference. Also what club is your child with? Check your club’s behavior policy it has certain standards that specifically state behavioral standards and what constitutes violations of those standards, that includes being loud and openly yelling at an official. Your league also has standards but many of you parents do no comply, read or care about them. ENYYSA also has standards and you are obviously not aware of that either.

I don’t care how much you paid to register and equip your child you did not pay for a ticket at a stadium to watch a game. You cannot compare your proximity to the field in a youth game to a game played in a stadium. It’s apples and oranges.

Listen, not original poster, but if a ref doesn’t make a clear foul call bc of flow of the game which happens way too often I’ll call him out everytime

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Also those fans pay to see the match and they have a right to complain and whine as long as it stays within certain behavioral standards.
I agree with everything you posted except the part I quoted above. Either spectators have the right to complain and whine (within standards) or they don't. "Paying to see the match" shouldn't factor into it. The parents you see on the sideline are also paying... uniforms, registration fees, team fees, and travel fees. Do you have a dollar figure that once you've paid you have a right to complain?

No you are wrong, you are paying for your child you are not a paying spectator, big difference. Also what club is your child with? Check your club’s behavior policy it has certain standards that specifically state behavioral standards and what constitutes violations of those standards, that includes being loud and openly yelling at an official. Your league also has standards but many of you parents do no comply, read or care about them. ENYYSA also has standards and you are obviously not aware of that either.

I don’t care how much you paid to register and equip your child you did not pay for a ticket at a stadium to watch a game. You cannot compare your proximity to the field in a youth game to a game played in a stadium. It’s apples and oranges.

Listen, not original poster, but if a ref doesn’t make a clear foul call bc of flow of the game which happens way too often I’ll call him out everytime

THE PROSECUTION RESTS- You are proving my case and some people just do not have self control even when they are either wasting their time when the call will not be changed or just wrong. You “calling him out” satisfies your ego and does nothing else.

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Originally Posted by LIRef77
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Also those fans pay to see the match and they have a right to complain and whine as long as it stays within certain behavioral standards.
I agree with everything you posted except the part I quoted above. Either spectators have the right to complain and whine (within standards) or they don't. "Paying to see the match" shouldn't factor into it. The parents you see on the sideline are also paying... uniforms, registration fees, team fees, and travel fees. Do you have a dollar figure that once you've paid you have a right to complain?

No you are wrong, you are paying for your child you are not a paying spectator, big difference. Also what club is your child with? Check your club’s behavior policy it has certain standards that specifically state behavioral standards and what constitutes violations of those standards, that includes being loud and openly yelling at an official. Your league also has standards but many of you parents do no comply, read or care about them. ENYYSA also has standards and you are obviously not aware of that either.

I don’t care how much you paid to register and equip your child you did not pay for a ticket at a stadium to watch a game. You cannot compare your proximity to the field in a youth game to a game played in a stadium. It’s apples and oranges.
I've been to youth matches where we have to pay to watch our children play. So, please explain why you feel that paying an admission fee gives you (the fan) the RIGHT (your words, not mine) to whine & complain.

As far as what the club says...
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Any coach/spectator/player who is asked to leave the field or area surrounding the field will not be permitted to attend any games until meeting with the MUSA Sportsmanship Committee for education concerning sportsmanship and appropriate coach/spectator/player behavior at youth soccer games.
Huh. Seems similar to what's posted previously... it needs to start with the refs. Go ahead, start ejecting everyone who says ANYTHING to you.

Once again you are assuming that anyone who questions you here must harass, abuse, and constantly criticize referees. You continue to do so over and over again.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Also those fans pay to see the match and they have a right to complain and whine as long as it stays within certain behavioral standards.
I agree with everything you posted except the part I quoted above. Either spectators have the right to complain and whine (within standards) or they don't. "Paying to see the match" shouldn't factor into it. The parents you see on the sideline are also paying... uniforms, registration fees, team fees, and travel fees. Do you have a dollar figure that once you've paid you have a right to complain?

No you are wrong, you are paying for your child you are not a paying spectator, big difference. Also what club is your child with? Check your club’s behavior policy it has certain standards that specifically state behavioral standards and what constitutes violations of those standards, that includes being loud and openly yelling at an official. Your league also has standards but many of you parents do no comply, read or care about them. ENYYSA also has standards and you are obviously not aware of that either.

I don’t care how much you paid to register and equip your child you did not pay for a ticket at a stadium to watch a game. You cannot compare your proximity to the field in a youth game to a game played in a stadium. It’s apples and oranges.
I've been to youth matches where we have to pay to watch our children play. So, please explain why you feel that paying an admission fee gives you (the fan) the RIGHT (your words, not mine) to whine & complain.

As far as what the club says...
Quote
Any coach/spectator/player who is asked to leave the field or area surrounding the field will not be permitted to attend any games until meeting with the MUSA Sportsmanship Committee for education concerning sportsmanship and appropriate coach/spectator/player behavior at youth soccer games.
Huh. Seems similar to what's posted previously... it needs to start with the refs. Go ahead, start ejecting everyone who says ANYTHING to you.

Once again you are assuming that anyone who questions you here must harass, abuse, and constantly criticize referees. You continue to do so over and over again.

Think the poster meant pay for admission to a professional match. That's the difference as a paying spectator with professional referees versus a youth match,

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Think the poster meant pay for admission to a professional match. That's the difference as a paying spectator with professional referees versus a youth match,
IMO, it shouldn't make a difference. It's either OK or it's not. Why does putting money out give one a right to complain, but going to see your kids play doesn't? I had to pay to watch my daughter in a HS scrimmage this morning. Since I paid, I now have a right to complain about the refs? What's the difference? Is it the amount of money you pay? What's the cutoff?

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Let me be clear since there seems to be a problem understanding the difference between a professional match and even the highest level youth game.

For example, in MLS the designated players are making either hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions, the games are broadcast and get fees from networks, you pay a fortune for 1 beer at a stadium and the referees are the highest level professional referees in the country. So if you want to yell at a player and call him a bum, even if he cannot hear you, you're entitled because you paid $200 for tickets.

Even so even professional leagues have some behavioral standards as evidence in pre-COVID times when fans acting inappropriately en masse and were banned from matches as the next game was played to an empty house. Bottom line clubs are responsible for their fans pro or not.

I’m not going to list them again as I did in the past but again, look at the standards of behavior for your particular club and league and you can see it there in black and white.

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Originally Posted by LIRef77
Let me be clear since there seems to be a problem understanding the difference between a professional match and even the highest level youth game.
I never said there wasn't a difference. YOU said "Also those fans pay to see the match and they have a right to complain and whine as long as it stays within certain behavioral standards." By that statement, as long as you pay to see the match, you have a right to complain and whine. If that's not what you meant, then say so.

Quote
For example, in MLS the designated players are making either hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions, the games are broadcast and get fees from networks, you pay a fortune for 1 beer at a stadium and the referees are the highest level professional referees in the country. So if you want to yell at a player and call him a bum, even if he cannot hear you, you're entitled because you paid $200 for tickets.
So now it's ok to yell at players? I thought we were talking about yelling at refs. Again, how much do you have to pay before it's ok? Please explain why MONEY gives fans a pass. The Mexican fans paid to see their players. They've gotten in trouble for their chants. So, again, yelling is ok as long as you don't cross a line, yes?
Quote
Even so even professional leagues have some behavioral standards as evidence in pre-COVID times when fans acting inappropriately en masse and were banned from matches as the next game was played to an empty house. Bottom line clubs are responsible for their fans pro or not.

I’m not going to list them again as I did in the past but again, look at the standards of behavior for your particular club and league and you can see it there in black and white.
I QUOTED my club's standards of behavior. NOTHING HAPPENS UNLESS YOU GET EJECTED. So, it starts with the ref.

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Nope it starts with the league but everyone ignores what they want to ignore-

Here’s an example of one league’s standards, it is quite clear-

PARENTS & SPECTATORS

No parent or spectator shall persistently address the referee or assistant referees at any time.

This includes, but is not limited to:

Parents and spectators shall not dispute calls during or after the game.
Parents and spectators shall not make remarks to the referee(s) or advise the referee(s) to watch certain players or attend to rough play.
Parents and spectators shall never yell at the referee(s), including criticism, sarcasm, harassment, intimidation or feedback of any kind before, during or after the game.
Additionally, parents and spectators shall not make derogatory comments to players, spectators or coaches of either team.

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Originally Posted by LIRef77
Nope it starts with the league but everyone ignores what they want to ignore-

Here’s an example of one league’s standards, it is quite clear-

PARENTS & SPECTATORS

No parent or spectator shall persistently address the referee or assistant referees at any time.

This includes, but is not limited to:

Parents and spectators shall not dispute calls during or after the game.
Parents and spectators shall not make remarks to the referee(s) or advise the referee(s) to watch certain players or attend to rough play.
Parents and spectators shall never yell at the referee(s), including criticism, sarcasm, harassment, intimidation or feedback of any kind before, during or after the game.
Additionally, parents and spectators shall not make derogatory comments to players, spectators or coaches of either team.
I'm not ignoring anything. How often have you seen a LEAGUE or a CLUB actually attend a game, take note of a troublesome parent and do anything? That's my point. It has nothing to do with what the club/league allows. Heck, I'm willing to wager there's not one organization that says "yea, we don't care what you say". My point is if referees want this to end, they need to eject parents/coaches/spectators every single time they're criticized. I'm guessing you don't do that. Sure, I'm sure you've thrown people out. Don't doubt it for a second. But you're not throwing out everyone who questions a call. Give the leagues and clubs some ammunition to hold parents accountable. If you're not willing to do that, nothing will change.

I've never said (and haven't read anyone saying) that clubs & leagues don't have standards of behavior. YOU said spectators for professional games have the right to whine and complain simply because they paid to be there. I questioned you about it because there are youth games (HS being a big one) that spectators have to pay to attend, so then they should have the right to whine and complain too (by YOUR definition). I get it, you don't like being questioned. Too bad you can't eject me. Then maybe my league or club could do something about it.

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Big deal you paid for a high school game. That doesn’t make it a professional game and I only posted one league’s rules regarding behavior by spectators so I am not wasting any more time with you because you think you should be able to yell at a referee or openly disagree with him or whatever. Again the players are not professionals.

Do NOT assume I cannot handle it when I officiate because that it the furthest from the truth.

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Originally Posted by LIRef77
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Also those fans pay to see the match and they have a right to complain and whine as long as it stays within certain behavioral standards.
I agree with everything you posted except the part I quoted above. Either spectators have the right to complain and whine (within standards) or they don't. "Paying to see the match" shouldn't factor into it. The parents you see on the sideline are also paying... uniforms, registration fees, team fees, and travel fees. Do you have a dollar figure that once you've paid you have a right to complain?

No you are wrong, you are paying for your child you are not a paying spectator, big difference. Also what club is your child with? Check your club’s behavior policy it has certain standards that specifically state behavioral standards and what constitutes violations of those standards, that includes being loud and openly yelling at an official. Your league also has standards but many of you parents do no comply, read or care about them. ENYYSA also has standards and you are obviously not aware of that either.

I don’t care how much you paid to register and equip your child you did not pay for a ticket at a stadium to watch a game. You cannot compare your proximity to the field in a youth game to a game played in a stadium. It’s apples and oranges.

Listen, not original poster, but if a ref doesn’t make a clear foul call bc of flow of the game which happens way too often I’ll call him out everytime

THE PROSECUTION RESTS- You are proving my case and some people just do not have self control even when they are either wasting their time when the call will not be changed or just wrong. You “calling him out” satisfies your ego and does nothing else.

I am also a different poster, but I do have a genuine question. When a referee ignores egregious fouls, or fails to card persistent and/or egregious fouls, player safety becomes an issue. I am a parent of an elite-level HS-age player, and also a licensed coach (I don't coach my kid), and I have seem this happen more often than I care to remember. As a parent, what is my recourse if I legitimately feel that my kid (or any kid) is being exposed to a dangerous situation due to an indifferent referee?

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Speak to your coach and have your coach go through the proper channels to have this dealt with. You taking it into your own hands will only make things worse. Coaches have avenues through the league to get this stuff dealt with.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Speak to your coach and have your coach go through the proper channels to have this dealt with. You taking it into your own hands will only make things worse. Coaches have avenues through the league to get this stuff dealt with.

Speak to the coach when? After the game? How does that help what is going on DURING the game. And I'm 99% certain that the coach going through "proper channels" in order to "have this dealt with" will result in absolutely nothing happening. We've already established that I cannot engage the referee myself, as that would make me a bad soccer parent. LIRef77, what do you say?

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Originally Posted by Anonymous
I agree with everything you posted except the part I quoted above. Either spectators have the right to complain and whine (within standards) or they don't. "Paying to see the match" shouldn't factor into it. The parents you see on the sideline are also paying... uniforms, registration fees, team fees, and travel fees. Do you have a dollar figure that once you've paid you have a right to complain?

No you are wrong, you are paying for your child you are not a paying spectator, big difference. Also what club is your child with? Check your club’s behavior policy it has certain standards that specifically state behavioral standards and what constitutes violations of those standards, that includes being loud and openly yelling at an official. Your league also has standards but many of you parents do no comply, read or care about them. ENYYSA also has standards and you are obviously not aware of that either.

I don’t care how much you paid to register and equip your child you did not pay for a ticket at a stadium to watch a game. You cannot compare your proximity to the field in a youth game to a game played in a stadium. It’s apples and oranges.

Listen, not original poster, but if a ref doesn’t make a clear foul call bc of flow of the game which happens way too often I’ll call him out everytime

THE PROSECUTION RESTS- You are proving my case and some people just do not have self control even when they are either wasting their time when the call will not be changed or just wrong. You “calling him out” satisfies your ego and does nothing else.

I am also a different poster, but I do have a genuine question. When a referee ignores egregious fouls, or fails to card persistent and/or egregious fouls, player safety becomes an issue. I am a parent of an elite-level HS-age player, and also a licensed coach (I don't coach my kid), and I have seem this happen more often than I care to remember. As a parent, what is my recourse if I legitimately feel that my kid (or any kid) is being exposed to a dangerous situation due to an indifferent referee?

Talk to your coach, failing that, pull your kid from the game and go home. If player safety is really the issue, why are you letting him continue to play?

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Speak to your coach and have your coach go through the proper channels to have this dealt with. You taking it into your own hands will only make things worse. Coaches have avenues through the league to get this stuff dealt with.

Speak to the coach when? After the game? How does that help what is going on DURING the game. And I'm 99% certain that the coach going through "proper channels" in order to "have this dealt with" will result in absolutely nothing happening. We've already established that I cannot engage the referee myself, as that would make me a bad soccer parent. LIRef77, what do you say?

Disclosure: I am a referee and a parent from California.
Yes, if you feel a referee is not capable of handling a game like "ignoring egregious fouls, or fails to card persistent and/or egregious fouls where a player safety could becomes an issue" you must file a report with what ever organization that is in charge of that referee. Your team administrator or team coach or club admin will tell and guide you how to do it as it's part of their jobs. And trust me your complain will be taken very seriously and proper investigation will be conducted. Both coaches will be contacted and asked their perspective of the game. It happens all the times. The organization will send their official to observe and qualify that referee following games. The referee rank could be downed and sometimes referee would be not allowed to ref games for particular ref organization; that how it handles in my area.

Good that you understand you can't engage the referee during or after the game as it wouldn't make you bad soccer parent but will make you much worse than a bad parent.
As a parent I feel your pain to see your kids, sometimes, getting hurt due to inaction of referee. As a referee myself I can admit that quality of youth refereeing is far from satisfying level. But I also know that people who are in charge of referee organizations are working very hard to find new referees and working with existing pool of referees to make it better.
On another note, I don't get what people saying about paying or not paying to see games and because of that what spectators can or can not do. In my opinion, spectators have all rights be happy or unhappy with the referee calls. If you are not happy then scream about bad calls just don't make it personal and aim at an official.

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Originally Posted by LIRef77
Big deal you paid for a high school game. That doesn’t make it a professional game and I only posted one league’s rules regarding behavior by spectators so I am not wasting any more time with you because you think you should be able to yell at a referee or openly disagree with him or whatever. Again the players are not professionals.
Sigh. So how much do you have to spend before you're allowed to "whine and complain"? This is about the third time I've asked this question and you refuse to answer. Why? Why does the players professional status even matter? We're not talking about yelling at players.
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Do NOT assume I cannot handle it when I officiate because that it the furthest from the truth.

Never said you couldn't "handle it". Not sure what "it" you're even referring to. The fact is you don't like people to criticize you. Let me tell you something, you're not always right, on the field or on the board. Does that mean I think you should be harassed, threatened, or abused? Absolutely not.

Let me simplify what I've been trying to tell you... it doesn't matter what a league or club's rules are. If the refs do NOTHING, then NOTHING will change. THAT'S why I said it starts with the refs. Have someone (fan, player, coach) "cross the line"? Eject them. Now, if you want to make your line ANY disagreement, no one is stopping you.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Speak to your coach and have your coach go through the proper channels to have this dealt with. You taking it into your own hands will only make things worse. Coaches have avenues through the league to get this stuff dealt with.

Speak to the coach when? After the game? How does that help what is going on DURING the game. And I'm 99% certain that the coach going through "proper channels" in order to "have this dealt with" will result in absolutely nothing happening. We've already established that I cannot engage the referee myself, as that would make me a bad soccer parent. LIRef77, what do you say?

Disclosure: I am a referee and a parent from California.
Yes, if you feel a referee is not capable of handling a game like "ignoring egregious fouls, or fails to card persistent and/or egregious fouls where a player safety could becomes an issue" you must file a report with what ever organization that is in charge of that referee. Your team administrator or team coach or club admin will tell and guide you how to do it as it's part of their jobs. And trust me your complain will be taken very seriously and proper investigation will be conducted. Both coaches will be contacted and asked their perspective of the game. It happens all the times. The organization will send their official to observe and qualify that referee following games. The referee rank could be downed and sometimes referee would be not allowed to ref games for particular ref organization; that how it handles in my area.

Good that you understand you can't engage the referee during or after the game as it wouldn't make you bad soccer parent but will make you much worse than a bad parent.
As a parent I feel your pain to see your kids, sometimes, getting hurt due to inaction of referee. As a referee myself I can admit that quality of youth refereeing is far from satisfying level. But I also know that people who are in charge of referee organizations are working very hard to find new referees and working with existing pool of referees to make it better.
On another note, I don't get what people saying about paying or not paying to see games and because of that what spectators can or can not do. In my opinion, spectators have all rights be happy or unhappy with the referee calls. If you are not happy then scream about bad calls just don't make it personal and aim at an official.

I agree that spectators have rights to be happy or unhappy with referee calls. What they do not have the right to do is act like a spoiled brat/child. This is when the referee must take action. If you can't control your emotions then prepare to deal with the consequences

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
I agree that spectators have rights to be happy or unhappy with referee calls. What they do not have the right to do is act like a spoiled brat/child. This is when the referee must take action. If you can't control your emotions then prepare to deal with the consequences
I totally agree with you. There are some posting here however who feel no one should show ANY displeasure or questioning of the referee. They also insist that other parents should be the ones responsible for controlling others instead of using the tools that have been given to them.

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