Spring '21 Scores & Standings: | CJSL | DPL | G-ECNL | G-ECRL | B-ECNL | B-ECRL | Challenge Cup | EDP | EHYSL | GA | LIJSL |
| MLS NXT | National League | NCSANJ | ENY State Cup | WYSL | CDYSL |


Community Classifieds
Post Your FREE Ad here
Forum Search
Spring 2021
Scores & Standings
Girls Academy League
GA Schedule & Standings
MLS Next Scores & Standings
Scores & Standings
National League
North Atlantic
EDP 2020/2021
Scores & Standings
WYSL Scores & Standings
Spring '21 Scores & Standings
LIJSL Scores & Standings
Scores & Standings
ENY State Cups 2020-2021
Challenge Cup
NY State Cup
Maxpreps High School
New York
New Jersey
Connecticut
Maryland
Latest Posts
GIRLS High School (School Ball) Fall 2020
by Anonymous - 05/06/21 08:48 PM
Stony Brook SC & Atletico FC Merge
by Anonymous - 05/06/21 02:44 PM
B2010:U11 Fall 2020/Spring 2021
by Anonymous - 05/06/21 12:28 PM
FC SESA Girls Tryouts
by Larry Miller - 05/06/21 12:01 PM
Rocky Point Rockies G2004
by MikeSurf - 05/06/21 11:46 AM
Who's Online Now
1 members (Larry Miller), 69 guests, and 17 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
BOTN Translation
Previous Thread
Next Thread
New Reply
Print Thread
Rate Thread
Page 18 of 19 1 2 16 17 18 19
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
L
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
I have witnessed several High School games this season,the officiating has been sub par to put it mildly. They are overweight, slow to follow play and have missed way too many calls to mention. Obvious penalties, off-sides, hand balls, etc, etc. Jericho has been the victim most of the times.
Good thing you've signed up for classes. Once you get certified, you can be out there and bring up the level of the referees on your own.
You must be one of the bad one's since you are deflecting and refuse to acknowledge the issue of existing bad referees. Your solution is to get new one's. What do we do about the current bad batch? If you hired a contractor to do some work (most if not all expect a substantial amount of $$$ up front) and once the work is complete you are not satisfied. Would you accept the "oh well, I hope you learn and get certified to do contracting work". I'm sure you wouldn't.

To compare a referee working youth games to a contractor doing work on a home that if done incorrectly could threaten the safety of a family is among the most thoughtless, stupid comparisons made on these boards. Do referees make mistakes? Absolutely. Could these mistakes lead to a life threatening situation? Absolutely not! This is exactly what is wrong with the youth game. Attention Coaches and parents: losing a game or having a referee make a mistake during a game is not the end of the world. This is exactly the hysteria that leads to the unacceptable behavior by out of control adults.

Like Reply Quote
Junior Soccer Advertisements

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
L
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
[quote=Anonymous]I have witnessed several High School games this season,the officiating has been sub par to put it mildly. They are overweight, slow to follow play and have missed way too many calls to mention. Obvious penalties, off-sides, hand balls, etc, etc. Jericho has been the victim most of the times.
Good thing you've signed up for classes. Once you get certified, you can be out there and bring up the level of the referees on your own.
You must be one of the bad one's since you are deflecting and refuse to acknowledge the issue of existing bad referees. Your solution is to get new one's. What do we do about the current bad batch? If you hired a contractor to do some work (most if not all expect a substantial amount of $$$ up front) and once the work is complete you are not satisfied. Would you accept the "oh well, I hope you learn and get certified to do contracting work". I'm sure you wouldn't.


Hey,
Let me put my 2 cents here. I was a parent who couldn't stand some referee calls and I was so vocal about and one time I had a parent who confronted me saying it's his daughter who is refereeing the game and what if it was my daughter out there and how I would feel about people screaming at her for what ever calls she did or didn't do. And you know what I did, I took the class with my daughter and became a referee. In my class, there were mostly high school kids and there was two coaches, and 3 adults like me. One coach didn't finish the class and 2 adults also did quit.
I am referring the games now for the last 6 years and yes, we, referees are not perfect. Most of the adult referees, like me, do this for the love of the game and/or want to be more involved with their kids. It's not our primary jobs, t's more like a hobby. Don't expect much from high school kids who do this for the money or because their parents did them to do it though I admire them for doing it just because they could. I also admire those guys who are trying their best to produce referees for youth soccer. Most of them doing it almost for free. So, I tell you this, be happy for what you have. With the infrastructure of youth sport (I know only about soccer) You could easily end up having a single coach refereeing the game for all ages. I see a lot of crazy stuff coming from parents and coaches, which makes me very sad. Don't be that asshole who creams on referees during youth games ( and I am not saying you are). We all want everything perfect, I get that.

All I have to say is THANK YOU! You talked the talk and then walked the walk! I really appreciate that you chose to actually participate and become part of the solution instead of being an armchair participant that criticizes others without actually doing anything. We need more people like you in the game. Keep up the good work!

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
I have witnessed several High School games this season,the officiating has been sub par to put it mildly. They are overweight, slow to follow play and have missed way too many calls to mention. Obvious penalties, off-sides, hand balls, etc, etc. Jericho has been the victim most of the times.
Good thing you've signed up for classes. Once you get certified, you can be out there and bring up the level of the referees on your own.
You must be one of the bad one's since you are deflecting and refuse to acknowledge the issue of existing bad referees. Your solution is to get new one's. What do we do about the current bad batch? If you hired a contractor to do some work (most if not all expect a substantial amount of $$$ up front) and once the work is complete you are not satisfied. Would you accept the "oh well, I hope you learn and get certified to do contracting work". I'm sure you wouldn't.

To compare a referee working youth games to a contractor doing work on a home that if done incorrectly could threaten the safety of a family is among the most thoughtless, stupid comparisons made on these boards. Do referees make mistakes? Absolutely. Could these mistakes lead to a life threatening situation? Absolutely not! This is exactly what is wrong with the youth game. Attention Coaches and parents: losing a game or having a referee make a mistake during a game is not the end of the world. This is exactly the hysteria that leads to the unacceptable behavior by out of control adults.
You must be one of the refs that think a hard tackle from behind isn't dangerous. I've seen player's seasons come to an abrupt end due to these types of fouls--and yes,m the refs didn't call anything!!! Bozo!!

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
[quote=Anonymous]I have witnessed several High School games this season,the officiating has been sub par to put it mildly. They are overweight, slow to follow play and have missed way too many calls to mention. Obvious penalties, off-sides, hand balls, etc, etc. Jericho has been the victim most of the times.
Good thing you've signed up for classes. Once you get certified, you can be out there and bring up the level of the referees on your own.
You must be one of the bad one's since you are deflecting and refuse to acknowledge the issue of existing bad referees. Your solution is to get new one's. What do we do about the current bad batch? If you hired a contractor to do some work (most if not all expect a substantial amount of $$$ up front) and once the work is complete you are not satisfied. Would you accept the "oh well, I hope you learn and get certified to do contracting work". I'm sure you wouldn't.


Hey,
Let me put my 2 cents here. I was a parent who couldn't stand some referee calls and I was so vocal about and one time I had a parent who confronted me saying it's his daughter who is refereeing the game and what if it was my daughter out there and how I would feel about people screaming at her for what ever calls she did or didn't do. And you know what I did, I took the class with my daughter and became a referee. In my class, there were mostly high school kids and there was two coaches, and 3 adults like me. One coach didn't finish the class and 2 adults also did quit.
I am referring the games now for the last 6 years and yes, we, referees are not perfect. Most of the adult referees, like me, do this for the love of the game and/or want to be more involved with their kids. It's not our primary jobs, t's more like a hobby. Don't expect much from high school kids who do this for the money or because their parents did them to do it though I admire them for doing it just because they could. I also admire those guys who are trying their best to produce referees for youth soccer. Most of them doing it almost for free. So, I tell you this, be happy for what you have. With the infrastructure of youth sport (I know only about soccer) You could easily end up having a single coach refereeing the game for all ages. I see a lot of crazy stuff coming from parents and coaches, which makes me very sad. Don't be that asshole who creams on referees during youth games ( and I am not saying you are). We all want everything perfect, I get that.

All I have to say is THANK YOU! You talked the talk and then walked the walk! I really appreciate that you chose to actually participate and become part of the solution instead of being an armchair participant that criticizes others without actually doing anything. We need more people like you in the game. Keep up the good work!
I wouldn't call volunteer coaches "armchair participants". They set aside time to hold practices/training sessions during the week---they work hard to prepare their players for a game. All this, to have lazy refs, that don'[t know how rules should be applied and decide the outcome of a game.

Like Reply Quote
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
L
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
I have witnessed several High School games this season,the officiating has been sub par to put it mildly. They are overweight, slow to follow play and have missed way too many calls to mention. Obvious penalties, off-sides, hand balls, etc, etc. Jericho has been the victim most of the times.
Good thing you've signed up for classes. Once you get certified, you can be out there and bring up the level of the referees on your own.
You must be one of the bad one's since you are deflecting and refuse to acknowledge the issue of existing bad referees. Your solution is to get new one's. What do we do about the current bad batch? If you hired a contractor to do some work (most if not all expect a substantial amount of $$$ up front) and once the work is complete you are not satisfied. Would you accept the "oh well, I hope you learn and get certified to do contracting work". I'm sure you wouldn't.

To compare a referee working youth games to a contractor doing work on a home that if done incorrectly could threaten the safety of a family is among the most thoughtless, stupid comparisons made on these boards. Do referees make mistakes? Absolutely. Could these mistakes lead to a life threatening situation? Absolutely not! This is exactly what is wrong with the youth game. Attention Coaches and parents: losing a game or having a referee make a mistake during a game is not the end of the world. This is exactly the hysteria that leads to the unacceptable behavior by out of control adults.
You must be one of the refs that think a hard tackle from behind isn't dangerous. I've seen player's seasons come to an abrupt end due to these types of fouls--and yes,m the refs didn't call anything!!! Bozo!!

Who’s the bozo? You guys just make up crap to support an unsupportable argument. Who said I would not call that a foul? Read my statement again it’s about comparing a referee to a contractor!
Think about this-Even if I gave a player a red card for a horrible tackle that caused an injury the player is still injured! The question is what Coach taught that player to play like that? Is he partially responsible? Easy to blame the referee what about the violent culture of that team?

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Originally Posted by Anonymous
I wouldn't call volunteer coaches "armchair participants". They set aside time to hold practices/training sessions during the week---they work hard to prepare their players for a game. All this, to have lazy refs, that don'[t know how rules should be applied and decide the outcome of a game.

One of the many problems in youth sport is arrogant people, adults,: parents, coaches, and yes, some referees. Like I mentioned before, I am refereeing the game for 6 + years now. And sometimes, after my games, I come home and think how the coach I was doing the game for is allowed to be around the kids. And I am not even talking about some parents/spectators who really have some issues.
But, for those who criticizing referees on right and left for calls/non-calls let me tell you something. Make a guess how many games in single weekend day one referee does?
Let's say a few, and sometimes they are in different locations. And, for every game you should be very focused for every second which is not easy as you need to look all around and if I look for just a second out of play and something happened at that moment and I missed. By hearing screaming from all sides I know something happened that I missed. Or I was out of position because of quick transitioning and wasn't at right angel to see what you saw sitting in one place on the side (or you think you saw something). Again, think about, people who signed up to be referee and came to do a game didn't come up to screw your team. They do at the best they can but you need to understand it's not easy. You have to analyze what you just saw and make a decision in a split of the second while the game is in progress. You can not expect from high school aged referees such abilities though some of them are very good. And it's true for adults as well.
So, stop freaking criticizing, and get the referee license and start doing the games and deal with coaches and parents and keep staingy sharp.

And, yes, if someone played recklessly and caused the injury of just could cost the injury of another player and wasn't penalized for it then it's wrong and very bad. And, because of that the game can go in wrong direction very quickly. And, that's why there is in process in place that after the game coaches or parents can file complains and folks why are in charge will look into and work with referee and etc.

Like Reply Quote
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
L
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
I wouldn't call volunteer coaches "armchair participants". They set aside time to hold practices/training sessions during the week---they work hard to prepare their players for a game. All this, to have lazy refs, that don'[t know how rules should be applied and decide the outcome of a game.

Again there appears to be a literacy problem here where was I referring to volunteer Coaches? I was a player in my youth when nobody in this country was playing the game and was a volunteer unpaid Coach before I became a referee, a Coach is involved in the sport and puts a lot of time in with his team.

Here’s a definition-

Armchair revolutionary is a description, often pejorative, of a speaker or writer who professes radical aims without taking any action to realize them, as if pontificating "from the comfort of the armchair".

So what I am referring to is a stereotypical spectator which in this case is a non athlete non soccer player who sits back and criticizes a referee while knowing nothing about the LOTG and may not exactly be free of bias or be a neutral party (they want their child to win and have a vested interest).

Folks everybody is entitled to their opinions but they should be based on facts not ignorant misconstrued blathering because they misread a post. Reading is fundamental!

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
You cannot be reasonable with UNreasonable people. Parents and coaches are mostly unreasonable - especially if their own child is involved. As a referee we sometimes get ourselves in trouble when we say too much.
Let the cards do the talking for you.
Have a good pregame with your coaches and players. I tell them NO COMMENTS FROM THE SIDELINES (parents coaches and players).
We know how to ref - we dont need any help from anyone. Keep everyone at least 5 feet from touch - better yet - ask for 10 feet. When they walk on the field - they are in the wrong already. That is an easy card. Some get the hint some dont. THe ones who dont get it will see red and will have a date for arbitration on thursday night.
Be firm on your calls. Stop games and remove parents. Get rid of the offenders.
I love the coaches who put their arm up on every close play - shut that down.
The first call and more importantly - the first dissent - must be dealt with swiftly. If not - it will only get worse.
The ref is in charge - you are in the middle - its your game - you run the show. Do not accept anything less than total cooperation from everyone. If not get rid of them - or get out of there. Use the ZTP to your advantage - stop the abuse. You will enjoy the game more..

Like Reply Quote
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,850
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,850
Originally Posted by Anonymous
You cannot be reasonable with UNreasonable people. Parents and coaches are mostly unreasonable - especially if their own child is involved. As a referee we sometimes get ourselves in trouble when we say too much.
Let the cards do the talking for you.
Have a good pregame with your coaches and players. I tell them NO COMMENTS FROM THE SIDELINES (parents coaches and players).
We know how to ref - we dont need any help from anyone. Keep everyone at least 5 feet from touch - better yet - ask for 10 feet. When they walk on the field - they are in the wrong already. That is an easy card. Some get the hint some dont. THe ones who dont get it will see red and will have a date for arbitration on thursday night.
Be firm on your calls. Stop games and remove parents. Get rid of the offenders.
I love the coaches who put their arm up on every close play - shut that down.
The first call and more importantly - the first dissent - must be dealt with swiftly. If not - it will only get worse.
The ref is in charge - you are in the middle - its your game - you run the show. Do not accept anything less than total cooperation from everyone. If not get rid of them - or get out of there. Use the ZTP to your advantage - stop the abuse. You will enjoy the game more..

I don't think the referees are treated at all fairly and you have to think twice about taking on the job. You need a really thick skin to be able to handle it. Parents and coaches totally out of control in all sports.

I really feel bad for the refs! Thank you for your service!

Like Reply Quote
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
L
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
Thanks CJ we appreciate your support! I would add to the previous poster that if you say we get in trouble for saying too much then why say no comments from the sidelines?

Never engage the parents, that could only lead to trouble. Even misbehaving adults watch what you actually DO not what you would even SAY to a Coach.

I start by trying to be very friendly and business like before the game using good body language, just don’t confuse my friendliness with weakness because you will quickly discover that my tolerance for rudeness or misbehavior will show you that I will not tolerate it. I like being friendly with the players and being respectful to them because the game is all about them. I want them to have fun and they appreciate when the environment is good and the adults behave well.

Like Reply Quote
1 member likes this: CJ Orlando
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Originally Posted by CJ Orlando
[quote=Anonymous]You cannot be reasonable with UNreasonable people. Parents and coaches are mostly unreasonable - especially if their own child is involved. As a referee we sometimes get ourselves in trouble when we say too much.
Let the cards do the talking for you.
Have a good pregame with your coaches and players. I tell them NO COMMENTS FROM THE SIDELINES (parents coaches and players).
We know how to ref - we dont need any help from anyone. Keep everyone at least 5 feet from touch - better yet - ask for 10 feet. When they walk on the field - they are in the wrong already. That is an easy card. Some get the hint some dont. THe ones who dont get it will see red and will have a date for arbitration on thursday night.
Be firm on your calls. Stop games and remove parents. Get rid of the offenders.
I love the coaches who put their arm up on every close play - shut that down.
The first call and more importantly - the first dissent - must be dealt with swiftly. If not - it will only get worse.
The ref is in charge - you are in the middle - its your game - you run the show. Do not accept anything less than total cooperation from everyone. If not get rid of them - or get out of there. Use the ZTP to your advantage - stop the abuse. You will enjoy the game more..

I agree -> You cannot be reasonable with unreasonable people
I disagree -> Parents and coaches are mostly unreasonable
I disagree -> I love the coaches who put their arm up on every close play - shut that down

I am a parent with kids who either played and still plying soccer and I am also a referee. I wouldn't say most parents and coaches are unreasonable - just some. But those who unreasonable make it very unpleasant experience for everyone.
In my personal opinion, it's ok for coaches or parents to express their displease with referee calls as long it's not going personal and stays in certain boundaries. I am OK with a couch to get on his head smile if he/she didn't like the call or no call because it is part of the game and people are not robots. We just have to understand the boundaries what can and can't be done.
-Stay cool everyone.

Like Reply Quote
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
L
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
I have said this before and it is true. The vast majority of Coaches, Trainers and parents are absolutely wonderful people focusing on the positive experience of the players.

But when you allow the 5-10% of the adults to hijack the game with their horrible behavior and you say and do nothing then your are complicit.

This is OUR game not just the bullies, let’s stand up against them together and not allow them to ruin the game for everyone.

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Originally Posted by LIRef77
But when you allow the 5-10% of the adults to hijack the game with their horrible behavior and you say and do nothing then your are complicit.
Do you feel the same about referees who don't do anything and allow parents and coaches to harass them? Nip it in the bud!

Like Reply Quote
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
L
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
But when you allow the 5-10% of the adults to hijack the game with their horrible behavior and you say and do nothing then your are complicit.
Do you feel the same about referees who don't do anything and allow parents and coaches to harass them? Nip it in the bud!

So you want to blame the referees if they are too fearful from doing something? Do you want to blame the 16 year old referee who may not have the experience or confidence because a few adult bullies are taking advantage of his youth? Do you blame the young referee when all the adults are doing nothing to stop the abuse? Should it be nipped in the bud?

Yes, but again if it is a new referee they may not have the confidence or experience, but what about all the Coaches and spectators that are allowing this to happen? I have a daughter that became a referee at age 16. What if it was your daughter being mercilessly attacked?

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Originally Posted by LIRef77
So you want to blame the referees if they are too fearful from doing something? Do you want to blame the 16 year old referee who may not have the experience or confidence because a few adult bullies are taking advantage of his youth? Do you blame the young referee when all the adults are doing nothing to stop the abuse? Should it be nipped in the bud?

Yes, but again if it is a new referee they may not have the confidence or experience, but what about all the Coaches and spectators that are allowing this to happen? I have a daughter that became a referee at age 16. What if it was your daughter being mercilessly attacked?
I blame those who trained/mentored the referees for not instilling in them the knowledge of what they CAN do. And so you know, my daughter did her first two centers at U12 yesterday. My wife said she came off the field almost in tears because of the yelling from parents and coaches. What I told my daughter... "YOU have the power to kick out parents and coaches who cross the line. YOU get to determine what that line is. Believe in yourself."

I wasn't at the game, so I don't know if she called good or bad games, or if the parents/coaches were "harassing" or if she was too sensitive. I want HER to be able to handle her own problems and not rely on others to do so for her.

If you want to live in fantasy land and believe parents are going to regulate other parents, I have a bridge I can sell you.

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
So you want to blame the referees if they are too fearful from doing something? Do you want to blame the 16 year old referee who may not have the experience or confidence because a few adult bullies are taking advantage of his youth? Do you blame the young referee when all the adults are doing nothing to stop the abuse? Should it be nipped in the bud?

Yes, but again if it is a new referee they may not have the confidence or experience, but what about all the Coaches and spectators that are allowing this to happen? I have a daughter that became a referee at age 16. What if it was your daughter being mercilessly attacked?
I blame those who trained/mentored the referees for not instilling in them the knowledge of what they CAN do. And so you know, my daughter did her first two centers at U12 yesterday. My wife said she came off the field almost in tears because of the yelling from parents and coaches. What I told my daughter... "YOU have the power to kick out parents and coaches who cross the line. YOU get to determine what that line is. Believe in yourself."

I wasn't at the game, so I don't know if she called good or bad games, or if the parents/coaches were "harassing" or if she was too sensitive. I want HER to be able to handle her own problems and not rely on others to do so for her.

If you want to live in fantasy land and believe parents are going to regulate other parents, I have a bridge I can sell you.

I don't necessarily agree. All referees are told that they have tools at their disposal to handle out of control parents. But for young referees it can be a scary situation. Some feel the cards will only inflame the issue and make it worse. What needs to happen is for field marshals to be at every venue and the moment this starts to get out of hand they step in and shut it down. This is why these kids quit (as well as seasoned officials that have had enough) and you find yourselves every weekend with games not having full coverage. Perhaps think about that the next time a referee doesn't show up to your game and you are forced to use a parent.

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Originally Posted by Anonymous
[quote=LIRef77]

If you want to live in fantasy land and believe parents are going to regulate other parents, I have a bridge I can sell you.

And that sir right there is the problem with youth sports. You answered your own question. Parents should be policing other parents who are out of line... bottom line is you are going to find yourself without any referees really soon. When that happens (not if... when) think about all the times your parents lost control over a recreational soccer game.

Puts it all into perspective doesn't it?

Like Reply Quote
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
L
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
So you want to blame the referees if they are too fearful from doing something? Do you want to blame the 16 year old referee who may not have the experience or confidence because a few adult bullies are taking advantage of his youth? Do you blame the young referee when all the adults are doing nothing to stop the abuse? Should it be nipped in the bud?

Yes, but again if it is a new referee they may not have the confidence or experience, but what about all the Coaches and spectators that are allowing this to happen? I have a daughter that became a referee at age 16. What if it was your daughter being mercilessly attacked?
I blame those who trained/mentored the referees for not instilling in them the knowledge of what they CAN do. And so you know, my daughter did her first two centers at U12 yesterday. My wife said she came off the field almost in tears because of the yelling from parents and coaches. What I told my daughter... "YOU have the power to kick out parents and coaches who cross the line. YOU get to determine what that line is. Believe in yourself."

I wasn't at the game, so I don't know if she called good or bad games, or if the parents/coaches were "harassing" or if she was too sensitive. I want HER to be able to handle her own problems and not rely on others to do so for her.

If you want to live in fantasy land and believe parents are going to regulate other parents, I have a bridge I can sell you.

This is exactly what I am talking about! How can parents not feel compassion about your daughter coming off the field in tears? Maybe because MORONS with the emotional quotient of ZERO find it more important to care about their 11 and 12 year old children winning a low level recreational soccer game that they don’t even notice or feel bad about a young girl who had more guts than all of the adults put together! They don’t assign inexperienced referees to high level games, this had to be recreational level at best.

The players probably made dozens of mistakes during the game but if your daughter made 5 they feel entitled to abuse her and make her feel bad!

Where are these clueless Coaches, none of which even tried to talk to your daughter after the game? Did they call the referee office to complain about her performance? Did they approach her and then see her crying and do nothing? Someone please try to explain that to us. How can this happen?

Where were the parents at the game that felt nothing for your daughter because they are so clueless not to notice a young referee in distress? This is disgusting!

Please DO NOT blame the people who mentored and trained your daughter to be a referee even if she made mistakes. She will make mistakes she is only human and inexperienced. Save your blame for the people that mistreated her. The people that trained her are doing something noble. They don’t want her to fail, they want her to succeed. We all want her to succeed.

I don’t expect bullies to regulate bullies! I expect Coaches to step up and not accept this behavior of their parents. I expect them to take action! They have the authority. How can you Coach children and allow other adults to abuse another child that happens to be a referee?

Please follow up and let us know how she continues, if she continues because if she decides not to we have just lost another potential referee. If you can try and be at her games, mostly to support her and also to protect her. Please report back if you can. We all need to stop this from happening this makes me angry.

I know you are proud of your daughter, what she did by finishing a difficult game was not easy and it took a lot of courage and fortitude. I commend her and hope I get to work a game with her one day. I thank her for what she is trying to do and hope she continues. I’m so sorry she had that experience.

Let her know that even the highest level referees can have a bad game and let it affect their performance. Sometimes the hostility can get so high that it can psyche you out of the game if you let it. Trust me I have had games where you give out more than 2 red cards but that does not make it an easier or necessarily cool off people.

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Originally Posted by Anonymous
I blame those who trained/mentored the referees for not instilling in them the knowledge of what they CAN do. And so you know, my daughter did her first two centers at U12 yesterday. My wife said she came off the field almost in tears because of the yelling from parents and coaches. What I told my daughter... "YOU have the power to kick out parents and coaches who cross the line. YOU get to determine what that line is. Believe in yourself."
I wasn't at the game, so I don't know if she called good or bad games, or if the parents/coaches were "harassing" or if she was too sensitive. I want HER to be able to handle her own problems and not rely on others to do so for her.

I guess we are all heroes, until the moment come.

In my area, because of not enough referees to cover all the games, we lowered the age who can take the referee class to 13 or maybe even 12. Imagine center referee who lets say 14 with 2 ARs of 13 years old go and try to talk down a coach who look like like their fathers or mothers and telling them that their behavior is unacceptable. Now, close you brave eyes and imagine yourself going to a scary looking adult (who apparently happens to be a coach) and talk that person down. I know a lot of good kids who stopped refereeing because of having that experience and I can't blame them. We are looking for referees to help with the games and have fun. We instruct a kid to handle out of line coach or a spectator ( again, they need to ask a coach to handle a parent). I am an adult and I am shaking every time when I have to that. I am not a professional referee I am just trying to help my community in a way I can. I know clubs are working with parents and coaches regarding those kind of situations. But, I don't think they work hard enough. I know that some clubs have prohibited a few parents from coming to watch their kid games as a punishment of unacceptable behavior. I think parents within the same team should be policing other parents when they go out of lines. As some one mentioned, we need more field marshals. Than could help but where do you get them, who pays them or you want some moms (or maybe we can get some dads) to volunteer while their kids are playing and refereeing for that matter and be those heroes --> Xa-xa-xa

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
My son's team was playing Auburndale's U13 team last night in EDP and the AR had decided that a close sideline play had remained in bounds and my son's team scored seconds later. The Auburndale coaches thought the ball was out and started stalking the AR and screaming at the top of their lungs at the AR for the non-call. The CR did nothing. On the next sequence the AR called for a foul against Auburndale and the Auburndale coaches went after the AR again screaming and accusing the referee crew of being hometown refs. The CR did give a yellow to one of the coaches at that point but if it were me, I would have given a straight red. The yellow shut the coaches up for the most part this game but that isn't going to correct their behavior in their next game. A coach should never yell at a referee, but they especially should never yell at an AR who has no choice but to keep running the sideline right in front of those coaches.

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Where are these clueless Coaches, none of which even tried to talk to your daughter after the game? Did they call the referee office to complain about her performance? Did they approach her and then see her crying and do nothing? Someone please try to explain that to us. How can this happen?
There you go assuming again. SOMEONE (I have no idea if it was a coach or a parent) did talk to my daughter after the game. Told her she did a good job and to ignore the asshole parents.

Quote
Please DO NOT blame the people who mentored and trained your daughter to be a referee even if she made mistakes. She will make mistakes she is only human and inexperienced. Save your blame for the people that mistreated her. The people that trained her are doing something noble. They don’t want her to fail, they want her to succeed. We all want her to succeed.
My point is she went through training in February of 2020... right before everything shut down. Until this weekend, the highest level game she did was U10, and I think that was as an AR. She was AR for a U12 game than put into CR for U12. Her trainers/mentors/assignors do not deserve the majority of the blame. That falls solely on the parents/coaches who yelled. BUT, I think it should be emphasized to new refs what tools are in their bag, ESPECIALLY when they get their first center at around U11/U12.

Quote
I don’t expect bullies to regulate bullies! I expect Coaches to step up and not accept this behavior of their parents. I expect them to take action! They have the authority. How can you Coach children and allow other adults to abuse another child that happens to be a referee?
THE REFS HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO TAKE ACTION IMMEDIATELY! I think you've even said it before... "what you allow, you condone". My daughter made a further mistake in not ejecting the parents. All that shows them is they can get away with it. Maybe if previous refs would have ejected these parents they'd learn. OR, the team would have more ammunition to take against the parent... "Joe, you've been ejected from 'x' games this year, one more time and you're off the team.

No, I'm not saying referees are solely responsible for the problem. I do feel they are the ones who can take immediate action.

Like Reply Quote
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
L
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
Well then this incident may toughen her up and maybe make her skin thicker. Yes she can take action and maybe next time she will, it’s a learning process.

Like Reply Quote
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
L
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
There you go assuming again. SOMEONE (I have no idea if it was a coach or a parent) did talk to my daughter after the game. Told her she did a good job and to ignore the asshole parents.

You accuse me of ASSUMING and then use the word SOMEONE and you have no idea if it was a Coach??
So you are reporting that you are not sure of the facts but accuse me of assuming?

Let me clear it up for you, when I state questions like where were the Coaches, I am asking a question. Where were they? Where were the rest of the adults? Who was this person that said she did a good job? Why did only one person say this to her.

This has happened to me and I have learned that I am not there to please the adults because that is a silly battle. Like me this young female referee is there to call the game and be there for the players. She is figuring it out. Just give her and other young refere
es.
a break.

Like Reply Quote
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77
Where are these clueless Coaches, none of which even tried to talk to your daughter after the game? Did they call the referee office to complain about her performance? Did they approach her and then see her crying and do nothing? Someone please try to explain that to us. How can this happen?
There you go assuming again. SOMEONE (I have no idea if it was a coach or a parent) did talk to my daughter after the game. Told her she did a good job and to ignore the asshole parents.

Quote
Please DO NOT blame the people who mentored and trained your daughter to be a referee even if she made mistakes. She will make mistakes she is only human and inexperienced. Save your blame for the people that mistreated her. The people that trained her are doing something noble. They don’t want her to fail, they want her to succeed. We all want her to succeed.
My point is she went through training in February of 2020... right before everything shut down. Until this weekend, the highest level game she did was U10, and I think that was as an AR. She was AR for a U12 game than put into CR for U12. Her trainers/mentors/assignors do not deserve the majority of the blame. That falls solely on the parents/coaches who yelled. BUT, I think it should be emphasized to new refs what tools are in their bag, ESPECIALLY when they get their first center at around U11/U12.

Quote
I don’t expect bullies to regulate bullies! I expect Coaches to step up and not accept this behavior of their parents. I expect them to take action! They have the authority. How can you Coach children and allow other adults to abuse another child that happens to be a referee?
THE REFS HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO TAKE ACTION IMMEDIATELY! I think you've even said it before... "what you allow, you condone". My daughter made a further mistake in not ejecting the parents. All that shows them is they can get away with it. Maybe if previous refs would have ejected these parents they'd learn. OR, the team would have more ammunition to take against the parent... "Joe, you've been ejected from 'x' games this year, one more time and you're off the team.

No, I'm not saying referees are solely responsible for the problem. I do feel they are the ones who can take immediate action.


Your second paragraph gets to the heart of the matter that started this thread - Where Are The Referees - your daughter should not have been the center ref for a U12 game given the experience you quoted her as having. I guess due to a shortage of refs they assigned the game to your daughter. She should have started with U9 games and then moved up.

The last thing you said is wrong but has also some truth to it. Parents and coaches are solely responsible for their own behavior - not referees. We referees can only address that bad behavior given the tools that we possess. The problem of allowing bad behavior is the result in part of referees not addressing it - on that I agree with you and I have been critical of my fellow referees who do tolerate it rather then punish it. By allowing it you send a message that is OK while the LOTG clearly forbid dissent by word or deed.

Like Reply Quote
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
L
Back of THE NET
Offline
Back of THE NET
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,054
Likes: 5
Assigning games is a difficult task. This one poster’s daughter got assigned a U12 game probably because they needed her for that game.

While some of the adults might have been tough on her and made her upset, she powered through the game and finished it. What the adults don’t get is that whether you are a young referee or an adult referee you will not be anywhere near perfect in your first game as a Center Referee. In fact you will not be great in your entire first few years. You need to slowly gain experience, confidence and poise and it does not come easily or quickly.

Eventually every referee has to be in the Center for the first time. For rational adults to expect a great or perfect referee when their own players are still learning the game is just not realistic. To also expect the assigning to be perfect is also unrealistic. Mistakes or mismatches will be made when you have a shortage of referees and an explosion of growth of leagues. Every week, including up to game day referees receive many emails asking for referees to work games that are still uncovered.

As the season progresses and some referees go back to college, quit and retire it gets even more challenging to cover all the games being played.

Like Reply Quote
Page 18 of 19 1 2 16 17 18 19
Quick Reply

Options
HTML is disabled
UBBCode is enabled
CAPTCHA Verification



Link Copied to Clipboard

Click Here!