After reading this I have some advice to the parents that are not happy. I left one town team and went to another team and it was the best move. Go to a team that has all the things that you are looking for. Talk it over with your kids and if they are not happy also,start contacting other clubs. Better to do something about the problem than complaining or arguing with people on BOTN.
I'm one of the more vocal contributors in this thread and that's what we did. Moved to Smithtown and my kid could not be happier.
As parents were happier too. No snark. No agendas we can find as of yet and I haven't seen a person roll their eyes if my kid or any kid makes a mistake.
It's not perfect. There are issues but my kid loves to play and my kids teammates have been kind supportive and welcoming considering my kid is new and not from their district.