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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #731849 01/15/20 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous


EXACTLY! Now you see how that works. Say a coach or parent verbally abuses an official, gets carded, team fined $1000 and you have to pony up and yet you did nothing! You're pissed off right? That SOB just cost you what..$75? Maybe once you tolerate that behavior. But it happens again. Then what?

If a coach, we want a new coach this guy's costing us more money!

If it's a parent, either the parent can't come or their kid is cut because of the parent's behavior.

If it's a kid on the team, the kid is costing YOU money, you're gonna try and make that kid's parents pony up...they wont as you all knew it was the rules, you're either going to find a program/team where that doesn't happen and isn't tolerated, or you and the rest of the parents are going to get that kid cut because they're costing you more money!

This is how punitive measure work when they have teeth!

FWIW NYS is trying to deal with this. There's a bill in the NYS Senate for an amendment to an existing law to make abuse of an official a Class B Misdemeanor which is in NYS punishable of fine and up to 3 mos in jail.

Here's the bill: https://legislation.nysenate.gov/pdf/bills/2019/S6747

Contact your state senator here: https://www.nysenate.gov/contact and let them know you support this bill.


so with your reasoning and methodology...we should no longer have people driving under the influence of drugs/alcohol, no more murders, Driving over the speed limit, ect....since these are all rules that when broken have major consequences...Yes? So why do they still happen? (there are a million reasons)....with that being said, your dumb_ss idea simply will not work because human beings simply cannot help themselves.


Of course it will still happen, but youth sports is not society in totality. It's a much smaller subsection of society. Much easier to police through harsh, punitive fines.

If my kid was playing for a team where the coach or parents were getting multiple red cards a season and I had to pony up extra money in my already strapped Long Island budget, you bet your ass I'm speaking to the DoC to get the coach removed or the parent removed.

Your argument has several wonderful logical fallacies in it. So I wont address them because they're not worth my time.

The concept of I'm working with is simple. It's depicted lovingly in this little clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0omnHZewRAg One person violates the rules, you punish everyone for it. Eventually everyone will either correct the offender, or they will expel the offender. In my idea, if your team gets a red card that is worthy of a fine, then your team cannot compete until the fine is paid. Say you don't get the fine in on time...miss next game. Pretty sure all the parents, and kids are going to be pissed at the offender wasting their time and their money and hurting the team.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #731850 01/15/20 01:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77

As for body cameras there are privacy issues shooting videos of children

Actually there are not. At least not on a soccer field. If the general public can see them, you can take video/still pictures.

How to keep refs? Two things...
1) Better pay (most people are willing to put up with more crap if they get paid more, this is in any job).
2) Better treatment from coaches, players, and spectators.

#2 is a multi step issue. As someone mentioned way up thread, watch the pros argue every call. "Hey, if Messi can get away with it, I can too!" I think there does need to be stricter penalties, but on a sliding scale. The problem is where do you draw the line? And everyone's line will be different, and even one person's line could change (what a ref lets someone get away with in their first game, they may not let someone get away with in their fifth."

PP idea of severe punishments to the team for red cards ($1000 fine) is a little extreme. Simply send the offending parent to the parking lot. If you can't tell who the offending parent is, 100%, then you do nothing. Send offs of parents and coaches need to be tracked, at both tournaments and league games. An excessive amount of send offs should cause a fine. But, what's "excessive", how large is the fine, and who pays it?

Every sport has troublesome fans. This is not particular to soccer. So what's changed?


If it's not extreme there will be no change in conduct.

I'm a hockey official. Kids get tossed from the game with a particularly egregious penalty or a combination of 5 total minors, or 2 10 minute misconducts. The kids know this. They don't care that it hurts their team to be on the penalty kill. They know 'well we're losing and I'm pissed off, I have 3 penalties left before I get tossed so I'll go out and take 2 of them'. If a person knows they get 3 red cards before a fine...guess what...they're gonna take 2 before they change their behavior. If you make it ZERO tolerance day 1. Then there's no margin for error. There's no discretion used. There's no 'oh we'll fix that with them later'. There is no later. You get 1 shot. You screw it up...buh bye and F you pay me.

You don't get to get a few get out of jail free cards in life, why do you get them when verbally abusing someone? Your boss makes a bad decision can you in the next staff meeting stand up and scream at him call him a joke and question his judgment? Nope you get fired! There's a consequence at work for behaving badly. Make the consequence just as bad at the youth sporting event and people will self correct. It's really psychology 101 stuff.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #731877 01/16/20 09:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77

As for body cameras there are privacy issues shooting videos of children

Actually there are not. At least not on a soccer field. If the general public can see them, you can take video/still pictures.

How to keep refs? Two things...
1) Better pay (most people are willing to put up with more crap if they get paid more, this is in any job).
2) Better treatment from coaches, players, and spectators.

#2 is a multi step issue. As someone mentioned way up thread, watch the pros argue every call. "Hey, if Messi can get away with it, I can too!" I think there does need to be stricter penalties, but on a sliding scale. The problem is where do you draw the line? And everyone's line will be different, and even one person's line could change (what a ref lets someone get away with in their first game, they may not let someone get away with in their fifth."

PP idea of severe punishments to the team for red cards ($1000 fine) is a little extreme. Simply send the offending parent to the parking lot. If you can't tell who the offending parent is, 100%, then you do nothing. Send offs of parents and coaches need to be tracked, at both tournaments and league games. An excessive amount of send offs should cause a fine. But, what's "excessive", how large is the fine, and who pays it?

Every sport has troublesome fans. This is not particular to soccer. So what's changed?


If it's not extreme there will be no change in conduct.

I'm a hockey official. Kids get tossed from the game with a particularly egregious penalty or a combination of 5 total minors, or 2 10 minute misconducts. The kids know this. They don't care that it hurts their team to be on the penalty kill. They know 'well we're losing and I'm pissed off, I have 3 penalties left before I get tossed so I'll go out and take 2 of them'. If a person knows they get 3 red cards before a fine...guess what...they're gonna take 2 before they change their behavior. If you make it ZERO tolerance day 1. Then there's no margin for error. There's no discretion used. There's no 'oh we'll fix that with them later'. There is no later. You get 1 shot. You screw it up...buh bye and F you pay me.

You don't get to get a few get out of jail free cards in life, why do you get them when verbally abusing someone? Your boss makes a bad decision can you in the next staff meeting stand up and scream at him call him a joke and question his judgment? Nope you get fired! There's a consequence at work for behaving badly. Make the consequence just as bad at the youth sporting event and people will self correct. It's really psychology 101 stuff.


Well I call my boss a bone head all the time....we both get into bloody screaming matches 1x or 2x a week at least, the secretary completely horrified but after the 1st month just laughs her _ss off all the time know when this happens. (this is going on 5+ years know)....You know why I'm still around? I make my boss money $$$$$$$. In the end...its all about the Benjamins.

Do you really think you are the smartest guy in the room with all the answers?

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #731909 01/16/20 05:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77

As for body cameras there are privacy issues shooting videos of children

Actually there are not. At least not on a soccer field. If the general public can see them, you can take video/still pictures.

How to keep refs? Two things...
1) Better pay (most people are willing to put up with more crap if they get paid more, this is in any job).
2) Better treatment from coaches, players, and spectators.

#2 is a multi step issue. As someone mentioned way up thread, watch the pros argue every call. "Hey, if Messi can get away with it, I can too!" I think there does need to be stricter penalties, but on a sliding scale. The problem is where do you draw the line? And everyone's line will be different, and even one person's line could change (what a ref lets someone get away with in their first game, they may not let someone get away with in their fifth."

PP idea of severe punishments to the team for red cards ($1000 fine) is a little extreme. Simply send the offending parent to the parking lot. If you can't tell who the offending parent is, 100%, then you do nothing. Send offs of parents and coaches need to be tracked, at both tournaments and league games. An excessive amount of send offs should cause a fine. But, what's "excessive", how large is the fine, and who pays it?

Every sport has troublesome fans. This is not particular to soccer. So what's changed?


If it's not extreme there will be no change in conduct.

I'm a hockey official. Kids get tossed from the game with a particularly egregious penalty or a combination of 5 total minors, or 2 10 minute misconducts. The kids know this. They don't care that it hurts their team to be on the penalty kill. They know 'well we're losing and I'm pissed off, I have 3 penalties left before I get tossed so I'll go out and take 2 of them'. If a person knows they get 3 red cards before a fine...guess what...they're gonna take 2 before they change their behavior. If you make it ZERO tolerance day 1. Then there's no margin for error. There's no discretion used. There's no 'oh we'll fix that with them later'. There is no later. You get 1 shot. You screw it up...buh bye and F you pay me.

You don't get to get a few get out of jail free cards in life, why do you get them when verbally abusing someone? Your boss makes a bad decision can you in the next staff meeting stand up and scream at him call him a joke and question his judgment? Nope you get fired! There's a consequence at work for behaving badly. Make the consequence just as bad at the youth sporting event and people will self correct. It's really psychology 101 stuff.


Well I call my boss a bone head all the time....we both get into bloody screaming matches 1x or 2x a week at least, the secretary completely horrified but after the 1st month just laughs her _ss off all the time know when this happens. (this is going on 5+ years know)....You know why I'm still around? I make my boss money $$$$$$$. In the end...its all about the Benjamins.

Do you really think you are the smartest guy in the room with all the answers?

Yes...it's all about the Benjamins. But if you screaming at people costs ME Benjamins I'm going to make sure you are never around ever again. I will make it my mission to end you and I win...always.

Am I the smartest guy in the room? This room...probably. Because most of y'all are a bunch of grown petulant children. Here's a hint...it's not about YOU. It's about the kids. The kids, your kids...hate you if you're a screaming or someone who makes a scene at games. Know how I know??? I talk to those kids. They all think people who make a scene are idiots.

Two actual conversations with kids during games with parents yelling about stupid things:

Me: Damn that guy's awfully mad.
u12: That's my dad.
Me: Oh...sorry.
u12: I just wish he'd shut up or stay in the car.
Me: Just tune him out and play you're doing great.
u12: Thanks.

---

<dad screaming in stands from opposing team>
Me: He's pretty pissed huh?
u14: yeah <rolls eyes>
Me: Wish parents weren't allowed to be in the rink.
u14: I know right, then we could just play.


I officiate almost 300 games a year. I see more kids, and more stupid parents in a year then you could ever imagine. I listen to the kids. They hate people who behave this way. All of them do, unless it's the kid who's emulating dad. My experience doing my job as an official working as many games as I do, makes me, on this topic, just about the smartest guy in the room.

My stories above...every single official here has dozens of them if not more where the kids are embarrassed at people like you, and your existence at their games.

Here's a tip. If you're not involved in the game in any way shape or form, STFU. It's not about you. Only people who can say anything about the game, the way it's officiated or played...are the players and the officials. Coaches need to STFU too unless you have a legitimate question to ask.

Last tip. Every official in every youth league in every youth sport thinks every single parent who opens their mouths is a friggin joke. If you cannot communicate with your boss using your words, you're a toddler. If you cannot communicate effectively with other adults or children without getting emotional...you're a toddler.

Grow up folks.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #731913 01/16/20 07:36 PM
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So do you eject these parents? If not, you're just adding to the problem.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #731915 01/16/20 08:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by LIRef77

As for body cameras there are privacy issues shooting videos of children

Actually there are not. At least not on a soccer field. If the general public can see them, you can take video/still pictures.

How to keep refs? Two things...
1) Better pay (most people are willing to put up with more crap if they get paid more, this is in any job).
2) Better treatment from coaches, players, and spectators.

#2 is a multi step issue. As someone mentioned way up thread, watch the pros argue every call. "Hey, if Messi can get away with it, I can too!" I think there does need to be stricter penalties, but on a sliding scale. The problem is where do you draw the line? And everyone's line will be different, and even one person's line could change (what a ref lets someone get away with in their first game, they may not let someone get away with in their fifth."

PP idea of severe punishments to the team for red cards ($1000 fine) is a little extreme. Simply send the offending parent to the parking lot. If you can't tell who the offending parent is, 100%, then you do nothing. Send offs of parents and coaches need to be tracked, at both tournaments and league games. An excessive amount of send offs should cause a fine. But, what's "excessive", how large is the fine, and who pays it?

Every sport has troublesome fans. This is not particular to soccer. So what's changed?


If it's not extreme there will be no change in conduct.

I'm a hockey official. Kids get tossed from the game with a particularly egregious penalty or a combination of 5 total minors, or 2 10 minute misconducts. The kids know this. They don't care that it hurts their team to be on the penalty kill. They know 'well we're losing and I'm pissed off, I have 3 penalties left before I get tossed so I'll go out and take 2 of them'. If a person knows they get 3 red cards before a fine...guess what...they're gonna take 2 before they change their behavior. If you make it ZERO tolerance day 1. Then there's no margin for error. There's no discretion used. There's no 'oh we'll fix that with them later'. There is no later. You get 1 shot. You screw it up...buh bye and F you pay me.

You don't get to get a few get out of jail free cards in life, why do you get them when verbally abusing someone? Your boss makes a bad decision can you in the next staff meeting stand up and scream at him call him a joke and question his judgment? Nope you get fired! There's a consequence at work for behaving badly. Make the consequence just as bad at the youth sporting event and people will self correct. It's really psychology 101 stuff.


Well I call my boss a bone head all the time....we both get into bloody screaming matches 1x or 2x a week at least, the secretary completely horrified but after the 1st month just laughs her _ss off all the time know when this happens. (this is going on 5+ years know)....You know why I'm still around? I make my boss money $$$$$$$. In the end...its all about the Benjamins.

Do you really think you are the smartest guy in the room with all the answers?

Yes...it's all about the Benjamins. But if you screaming at people costs ME Benjamins I'm going to make sure you are never around ever again. I will make it my mission to end you and I win...always.

Am I the smartest guy in the room? This room...probably. Because most of y'all are a bunch of grown petulant children. Here's a hint...it's not about YOU. It's about the kids. The kids, your kids...hate you if you're a screaming or someone who makes a scene at games. Know how I know??? I talk to those kids. They all think people who make a scene are idiots.

Two actual conversations with kids during games with parents yelling about stupid things:

Me: Damn that guy's awfully mad.
u12: That's my dad.
Me: Oh...sorry.
u12: I just wish he'd shut up or stay in the car.
Me: Just tune him out and play you're doing great.
u12: Thanks.

---

<dad screaming in stands from opposing team>
Me: He's pretty pissed huh?
u14: yeah <rolls eyes>
Me: Wish parents weren't allowed to be in the rink.
u14: I know right, then we could just play.


I officiate almost 300 games a year. I see more kids, and more stupid parents in a year then you could ever imagine. I listen to the kids. They hate people who behave this way. All of them do, unless it's the kid who's emulating dad. My experience doing my job as an official working as many games as I do, makes me, on this topic, just about the smartest guy in the room.

My stories above...every single official here has dozens of them if not more where the kids are embarrassed at people like you, and your existence at their games.

Here's a tip. If you're not involved in the game in any way shape or form, STFU. It's not about you. Only people who can say anything about the game, the way it's officiated or played...are the players and the officials. Coaches need to STFU too unless you have a legitimate question to ask.

Last tip. Every official in every youth league in every youth sport thinks every single parent who opens their mouths is a friggin joke. If you cannot communicate with your boss using your words, you're a toddler. If you cannot communicate effectively with other adults or children without getting emotional...you're a toddler.

Grow up folks.



And as a final note, if you are an official speaking on an anonymous blog in this manner, you lose all credibility. Your approach to players and parents leads me to believe you may need some time in the penalty box yourself. Take a few deep breathes and get back to us when you are less abusive toward kids and parents.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
LIRef77 #731923 01/17/20 09:29 AM
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so says the "petulant child"...lmao...i'm willing to bet (and I'm sure i'm not the only one) that you know as much about wining as you know about fkg...ZERO!!!!!!....all bark and no bite!!!...you are a spineless keyboard gangster with no back bone...you are a jellyfish.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
LIRef77 #731930 01/17/20 10:53 AM
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Still not a soul that wants to comment on if the mandatory meeting is worthwhile????

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #731955 01/17/20 04:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
So do you eject these parents? If not, you're just adding to the problem.

If I am not the target of the ire of the stupid parent there's nothing I can do.

However, I have ejected parents, as recently as Sunday. I even had the cops on the phone for a guy who was refusing to leave until we made the call. That's called criminal trespass when you've been asked to leave and refuse.

Originally Posted by Anonymous

And as a final note, if you are an official speaking on an anonymous blog in this manner, you lose all credibility. Your approach to players and parents leads me to believe you may need some time in the penalty box yourself. Take a few deep breathes and get back to us when you are less abusive toward kids and parents.

Lose all credibility...to people who have never taken the whistle? Sorry pal...nope. Anyone who has never done the job needs to STFU and sit down. Abusive? Nah...I'm not abusive. I have a great rapport with all the kids I work with and the coaches who are not jerks. Parents...could care less about their opinions. They're spectators. Their opinions don't matter. Ever. There's only one coach who has an issue with me. Wanna know why??? He called my partner a 'joke' then came at us on the ice and had to be restrained by his assistant over a nothing play(his own assistants agreed) and I sent him packing. Every other coach I see who has seen me before knows they're getting a hard working official who is going to do the best job possible, it wont be perfect they wont agree with everything...but I've never once been told I blew the game.

Originally Posted by Anonymous
so says the "petulant child"...lmao...i'm willing to bet (and I'm sure i'm not the only one) that you know as much about wining as you know about fkg...ZERO!!!!!!....all bark and no bite!!!...you are a spineless keyboard gangster with no back bone...you are a jellyfish.

Aww...little boy get his feeling hurt. You'll get over it...nah who we kidding he wont maybe we can get this baby some desitin for his diaper rash.

Keyboard gangster is rich. I walk the walk....I'm the guy who does the job, you must be the other guy? Oh bitch on an anonymous BB tough guy. Grab the whistle. Work some games. Be sure to post your assignments here I'll go to them and make you cry like a little baby.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #731959 01/17/20 05:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
So do you eject these parents? If not, you're just adding to the problem.

If I am not the target of the ire of the stupid parent there's nothing I can do.

However, I have ejected parents, as recently as Sunday. I even had the cops on the phone for a guy who was refusing to leave until we made the call. That's called criminal trespass when you've been asked to leave and refuse.

Originally Posted by Anonymous

And as a final note, if you are an official speaking on an anonymous blog in this manner, you lose all credibility. Your approach to players and parents leads me to believe you may need some time in the penalty box yourself. Take a few deep breathes and get back to us when you are less abusive toward kids and parents.

Lose all credibility...to people who have never taken the whistle? Sorry pal...nope. Anyone who has never done the job needs to STFU and sit down. Abusive? Nah...I'm not abusive. I have a great rapport with all the kids I work with and the coaches who are not jerks. Parents...could care less about their opinions. They're spectators. Their opinions don't matter. Ever. There's only one coach who has an issue with me. Wanna know why??? He called my partner a 'joke' then came at us on the ice and had to be restrained by his assistant over a nothing play(his own assistants agreed) and I sent him packing. Every other coach I see who has seen me before knows they're getting a hard working official who is going to do the best job possible, it wont be perfect they wont agree with everything...but I've never once been told I blew the game.

Originally Posted by Anonymous
so says the "petulant child"...lmao...i'm willing to bet (and I'm sure i'm not the only one) that you know as much about wining as you know about fkg...ZERO!!!!!!....all bark and no bite!!!...you are a spineless keyboard gangster with no back bone...you are a jellyfish.

Aww...little boy get his feeling hurt. You'll get over it...nah who we kidding he wont maybe we can get this baby some desitin for his diaper rash.

Keyboard gangster is rich. I walk the walk....I'm the guy who does the job, you must be the other guy? Oh bitch on an anonymous BB tough guy. Grab the whistle. Work some games. Be sure to post your assignments here I'll go to them and make you cry like a little baby.


are you still barking? i swear you sound like the little taco bell dog!!!!

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #731965 01/17/20 08:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
So do you eject these parents? If not, you're just adding to the problem.

If I am not the target of the ire of the stupid parent there's nothing I can do.

So your idea of $1k penalty wouldn't help in that situation would it? The parents would STILL be yelling at the kids.

I appreciate where you're coming from and I think your idea has some merit, but I think it goes too far. Each club should track parent ejections. 2nd one in a season? $250 fine. 3rd one? $500 fine. AND your child can't play until the fine is paid (starting w/2nd ejection), AND on the third, you're banned from attending any matches for the rest of the season. If you show up at a match after that, your child is off the team and you forfeit everything you've paid (assessments, etc).

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #732010 01/19/20 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Still not a soul that wants to comment on if the mandatory meeting is worthwhile????


Regardless whether or not its worthwhile you still need to attend.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
LIRef77 #732011 01/19/20 06:40 PM
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In a town in Massachusetts they banned cheering of any kind positive or negative.. ..you are not allowed to yell/cheer. Due to an obnoxious aggressive parent who attacked a ref. Patents must sit there quietly, they start yelling one warning then match is suspended

I have to say I am starting to think its the way to go....?

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Cross It 4 Fun #732026 01/20/20 10:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Cross It 4 Fun
In a town in Massachusetts they banned cheering of any kind positive or negative.. ..you are not allowed to yell/cheer. Due to an obnoxious aggressive parent who attacked a ref. Patents must sit there quietly, they start yelling one warning then match is suspended

I have to say I am starting to think its the way to go....?


A referee was punched by a parent at a GU9 game on LI this past fall. I'd have no objection to parents having to sit quietly as I can't stand the stupidity I hear every weekend as a coach for one son and a spectator on the other son.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #732049 01/20/20 08:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Cross It 4 Fun
In a town in Massachusetts they banned cheering of any kind positive or negative.. ..you are not allowed to yell/cheer. Due to an obnoxious aggressive parent who attacked a ref. Patents must sit there quietly, they start yelling one warning then match is suspended

I have to say I am starting to think its the way to go....?


A referee was punched by a parent at a GU9 game on LI this past fall. I'd have no objection to parents having to sit quietly as I can't stand the stupidity I hear every weekend as a coach for one son and a spectator on the other son.



No cheering or jeering on your part can change the thoughts and reaction of a parent who attacks a ref. Do you believe a rule of this nature could stop an idiot like that? We have rules that are supposed to prevent physical assaults, they are not youth sports rules, but rather the laws of society.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #732052 01/20/20 09:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Cross It 4 Fun
In a town in Massachusetts they banned cheering of any kind positive or negative.. ..you are not allowed to yell/cheer. Due to an obnoxious aggressive parent who attacked a ref. Patents must sit there quietly, they start yelling one warning then match is suspended

I have to say I am starting to think its the way to go....?


A referee was punched by a parent at a GU9 game on LI this past fall. I'd have no objection to parents having to sit quietly as I can't stand the stupidity I hear every weekend as a coach for one son and a spectator on the other son.



No cheering or jeering on your part can change the thoughts and reaction of a parent who attacks a ref. Do you believe a rule of this nature could stop an idiot like that? We have rules that are supposed to prevent physical assaults, they are not youth sports rules, but rather the laws of society.


Thats a fair point and Inshould have expanded my response to say the but the no jeer no cheer rule will stop the over the top comments directed toward refs and the youth players....

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #732072 01/21/20 09:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
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Originally Posted by Cross It 4 Fun
In a town in Massachusetts they banned cheering of any kind positive or negative.. ..you are not allowed to yell/cheer. Due to an obnoxious aggressive parent who attacked a ref. Patents must sit there quietly, they start yelling one warning then match is suspended

I have to say I am starting to think its the way to go....?


A referee was punched by a parent at a GU9 game on LI this past fall. I'd have no objection to parents having to sit quietly as I can't stand the stupidity I hear every weekend as a coach for one son and a spectator on the other son.



No cheering or jeering on your part can change the thoughts and reaction of a parent who attacks a ref. Do you believe a rule of this nature could stop an idiot like that? We have rules that are supposed to prevent physical assaults, they are not youth sports rules, but rather the laws of society.


Where I disagree with you is the clubs where incidents like this happen do not enforce any sort or parental or player code of conduct. I guarantee this person has misbehaved badly before and the coach and the club have no cojones to do anything about it. Sorry no excuse. In my club we've suspended and banned parents for their sideline antics. Nip this sh** in the bud before it gets out of control I say. Player or parent can't handle code of conduct too bad, buh bye zeros!

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #732077 01/21/20 10:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Cross It 4 Fun
In a town in Massachusetts they banned cheering of any kind positive or negative.. ..you are not allowed to yell/cheer. Due to an obnoxious aggressive parent who attacked a ref. Patents must sit there quietly, they start yelling one warning then match is suspended

I have to say I am starting to think its the way to go....?


A referee was punched by a parent at a GU9 game on LI this past fall. I'd have no objection to parents having to sit quietly as I can't stand the stupidity I hear every weekend as a coach for one son and a spectator on the other son.



No cheering or jeering on your part can change the thoughts and reaction of a parent who attacks a ref. Do you believe a rule of this nature could stop an idiot like that? We have rules that are supposed to prevent physical assaults, they are not youth sports rules, but rather the laws of society.


Where I disagree with you is the clubs where incidents like this happen do not enforce any sort or parental or player code of conduct. I guarantee this person has misbehaved badly before and the coach and the club have no cojones to do anything about it. Sorry no excuse. In my club we've suspended and banned parents for their sideline antics. Nip this sh** in the bud before it gets out of control I say. Player or parent can't handle code of conduct too bad, buh bye zeros!



Totally agree with club maintaining control but I don’t believe you can control an unstable individual. I witnessed an incident like this once with a parent going after a coach after a match. Nothing prior would have ever indicated this parent would do this.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
LIRef77 #732078 01/21/20 10:41 AM
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lirrref....i was thinking of you this weekend.

durring my kids game i overheard parents yelling from both sides quite loud...maybe the elderly (i think maybe he was late 60s early 70s) ref blew some calls but he was definitely being fair....I'm thinking how cool this guy is, hes just ignoring everybody and just doing the best he can do.

Upon closer examination i noticed the elderly referee has a hearing aid!!!! (this guy probably cant hear a damn thing anyway)!!!!!! So, in summary....ear plugs DO WORK....get yourself a pair...and stop acting like a spoiled little brat snowflake.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
LIRef77 #732079 01/21/20 10:53 AM
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Totally agree with club maintaining control but I don’t believe you can control an unstable individual. I witnessed an incident like this once with a parent going after a coach after a match. Nothing prior would have ever indicated this parent would do this.

Agreed but the majority of bad apples are well known to the clubs. When clubs really instill standards the behavior will improve among players and spectators. This must start at an early age too. Better behavior will absolutely attract new referees. I wouldn't tolerate some wacko person in my job treating me like s**t, so why would anyone want to subject themselves to that on the sports field?

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #732081 01/21/20 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Totally agree with club maintaining control but I don’t believe you can control an unstable individual. I witnessed an incident like this once with a parent going after a coach after a match. Nothing prior would have ever indicated this parent would do this.

Agreed but the majority of bad apples are well known to the clubs. When clubs really instill standards the behavior will improve among players and spectators. This must start at an early age too. Better behavior will absolutely attract new referees. I wouldn't tolerate some wacko person in my job treating me like s**t, so why would anyone want to subject themselves to that on the sports field?



Real good points. As a parent i found that i said even less each year as my kid aged and I understood the game better. Also found a way to keep myself in check. I made a point to stand by parents of the opposing team, it forced me to be more couteous and also made them think twice before being overly zealous around opposing player parent. Mixed seating might he a solution.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
LIRef77 #732085 01/21/20 11:46 AM
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This is all so embarrassing. Very similer to parents yelling at their 10 year old "if he pushes you push him back if the ref isn't going to call it."

I don't care if the referee is BLIND, tell and teach your kids to play the right way and parents should behave the right way. ALWAYS! end of story

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #732090 01/21/20 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
This is all so embarrassing. Very similer to parents yelling at their 10 year old "if he pushes you push him back if the ref isn't going to call it."

I don't care if the referee is BLIND, tell and teach your kids to play the right way and parents should behave "the right way". ALWAYS! end of story



I watch plenty of European Soccer on tv!!!! There is plenty of "pushing" are you saying the Europeans don't play the right way?

My oldest plays at U16 on a pretty good fkg team...there is pushing going on all the time...do they not play "the right way" either?

In Summary, Let the kids Play, let the coach Coach and let the Referee Ref....most importantly stop coming onto botn and post dumb_ss comments....end of story!!!

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #732093 01/21/20 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
This is all so embarrassing. Very similer to parents yelling at their 10 year old "if he pushes you push him back if the ref isn't going to call it."

I don't care if the referee is BLIND, tell and teach your kids to play the right way and parents should behave "the right way". ALWAYS! end of story



I watch plenty of European Soccer on tv!!!! There is plenty of "pushing" are you saying the Europeans don't play the right way?

My oldest plays at U16 on a pretty good fkg team...there is pushing going on all the time...do they not play "the right way" either?

In Summary, Let the kids Play, let the coach Coach and let the Referee Ref....most importantly stop coming onto botn and post dumb_ss comments....end of story!!!


You watch 10 year olds from Europe on TV? I think the previous post was merely stating the stupidity of parents telling a 10 year old "if he pushes you, you push him back". That's not educating the kid about soccer, just retaliation. Let the coach of the team teach the kids to play aggressively, clean and hard. I've taught my teams how to do so.

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Re: Referee Shortage-Solutions?
Anonymous #732094 01/21/20 02:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
This is all so embarrassing. Very similer to parents yelling at their 10 year old "if he pushes you push him back if the ref isn't going to call it."

I don't care if the referee is BLIND, tell and teach your kids to play the right way and parents should behave "the right way". ALWAYS! end of story



I watch plenty of European Soccer on tv!!!! There is plenty of "pushing" are you saying the Europeans don't play the right way?

My oldest plays at U16 on a pretty good fkg team...there is pushing going on all the time...do they not play "the right way" either?

In Summary, Let the kids Play, let the coach Coach and let the Referee Ref....most importantly stop coming onto botn and post dumb_ss comments....end of story!!!


Lighten up Francis. Kids should play, coaches coach, refs ref and parents STFU. The right way to play is clean, hard and aggressive.

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