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Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
#617312 09/10/15 10:18 PM
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I am looking for recommendations on how to deal with a complete incompetent Girls HS Coach.

I've watched the variety coach for the Hewlett soccer team the past few years and I am at a complete loss of how he coaches, communicates and manages the team. The team did well last year in a lower division due strictly on the Keeper they had (she has gone on to play at Northeastern).

He has a surplus of players that he moved up from 8th & 9th grade... so many kids ride the bench, while their JV can barely field a team. Most of the players he moved up are not "the same caliber" as the older players.

I am sure that for parents of higher caliber players from club teams get frustrated with their school coaches, who are mostly not qualified and are looking for just another paycheck. And then there are some (such as Hewlett's women's varsity coach) who think they know the game well, when in fact they have no clue. To worsen matters, he suffers from a Napoleon complex and thinks he's the big man on campus.

I realize that for the top club players who also play school ball, it is more of the "social" experience. However, these children are accustomed to trainers who actually know what they are doing. Now they are exposed to a buffoon... what is a parent supposed to do?

The coaches don't want to hear from the parents... and that would certainly blowup at their child's expense. When the child speaks up, they are also "shut down" and dismissed (and we all know that our experienced players know the game far more than most HS coaches).

Any input is gladly welcome

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
lisoccer1 #617321 09/10/15 10:56 PM
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First of all, who is the coach? Hewlett has had coaching problems with girl's soccer since Joey Zydor left, or rather was tossed since a teacher wanted to make extra money and teachers get the job over a non-teacher.

So, who is the coach and is the coach a teacher in the district

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
lisoccer1 #617323 09/10/15 11:07 PM
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Two options:

1. Let it go its only 6-8 weeks.

2. Don't have your kid play school ball, but that needs to be his/her choice not yours.

School ball is atrocious and I agree at least in my town the coaches are unqualified and no nothing of the game. I wish my son wouldn't play, but he wants to. It's the only time gets to play with his friends.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Larry Miller #617324 09/10/15 11:22 PM
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I have to agree with the post... maybe I would have been a little softer, but the info is accurate. The coach is Gil Kreiss. He works in the district (middle school teacher). I suggest to the writer that they be patient. However, they should instruct their child to play how they were taught by their qualified trainers vs listening to an incompetent coach who could put a child in dangers way with inexperience. The hardest part with anything, is dealing with someone who doesn't know what they "think" they know.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
lisoccer1 #617331 09/11/15 06:45 AM
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There is little you can do. AD's make hiring decisions, it isn't a Democracy run by club parents. If the team does decently he'll probably keep his job. Coaches only get fired if they are involved with a scandal or perform atrociously. Don't be one of those soccer parents that rounds up dissatisfied parents and plot to get him removed. Sit back, take a deep breath and enjoy the season for what it is. If you have a negative attitude so will your player. It's two months long and you'll be back at your club in no time.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617332 09/11/15 06:51 AM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
I have to agree with the post... maybe I would have been a little softer, but the info is accurate. The coach is Gil Kreiss. He works in the district (middle school teacher). I suggest to the writer that they be patient. However, they should instruct their child to play how they were taught by their qualified trainers vs listening to an incompetent coach who could put a child in dangers way with inexperience. The hardest part with anything, is dealing with someone who doesn't know what they "think" they know.


Gil Kreiss has been there forever. He isn't going anywhere,

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617338 09/11/15 07:40 AM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
There is little you can do. AD's make hiring decisions, it isn't a Democracy run by club parents. If the team does decently he'll probably keep his job. Coaches only get fired if they are involved with a scandal or perform atrociously. Don't be one of those soccer parents that rounds up dissatisfied parents and plot to get him removed. Sit back, take a deep breath and enjoy the season for what it is. If you have a negative attitude so will your player. It's two months long and you'll be back at your club in no time.


This statement opens up another can of worms. The problem with Long Island soccer is the parents on boards. You think it's democratic, in some cases it is but it many it's not. The biggest issue are those same board members that try and make soccer decisions and don't know the first thing about soccer. At u9 there should be a professionally run program at every club that exists to provide a true development program for the kids that show potential or are excelling and get those clubs to work together because there are not that many top level trainers or kids for that matter. The community club should only be there to service the recreational side of soccer and stay completely out of the higher level programming.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
lisoccer1 #617354 09/11/15 10:03 AM
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There is a simple solution to this. Just don't worry about it. HS soccer is meaningless.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
lisoccer1 #617360 09/11/15 10:47 AM
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Originally Posted By: lisoccer1
I am looking for recommendations on how to deal with a complete incompetent Girls HS Coach.

I've watched the variety coach for the Hewlett soccer team the past few years and I am at a complete loss of how he coaches, communicates and manages the team. The team did well last year in a lower division due strictly on the Keeper they had (she has gone on to play at Northeastern).

He has a surplus of players that he moved up from 8th & 9th grade... so many kids ride the bench, while their JV can barely field a team. Most of the players he moved up are not "the same caliber" as the older players.

I am sure that for parents of higher caliber players from club teams get frustrated with their school coaches, who are mostly not qualified and are looking for just another paycheck. And then there are some (such as Hewlett's women's varsity coach) who think they know the game well, when in fact they have no clue. To worsen matters, he suffers from a Napoleon complex and thinks he's the big man on campus.

I realize that for the top club players who also play school ball, it is more of the "social" experience. However, these children are accustomed to trainers who actually know what they are doing. Now they are exposed to a buffoon... what is a parent supposed to do?

The coaches don't want to hear from the parents... and that would certainly blowup at their child's expense. When the child speaks up, they are also "shut down" and dismissed (and we all know that our experienced players know the game far more than most HS coaches).

Any input is gladly welcome


horrible coaches are a fairly common thing in youth sports. all you can do, in this case, because your daughter can't switch teams, because it's high school and not club soccer, all you can do is encourage your daughter to remain positive about the entire experience. to play her best soccer, no matter what everybody else is up to. she should also remain respectful and helpful to her coach and her teammates, even if they all suck. that's pretty much it.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617361 09/11/15 10:48 AM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
There is a simple solution to this. Just don't worry about it. HS soccer is meaningless.


my daughter is one of the captains of her high school soccer team. i can assure you, high school soccer is not meaningless.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
lisoccer1 #617366 09/11/15 11:05 AM
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These are still kids and should be told to respect the person running the show.

Is the specific concern that you wont win as many games as if you had a "better" coach?

And be careful, as sometimes a parent doesnt know what they dont know - if you know what I mean.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
lisoccer1 #617367 09/11/15 11:14 AM
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Hewlett wins its first conference title in 21 years - and instead of priming your daughter to go for a repeat you rant and rave against the coach?

Seems they had a good group of underclassmen last season and the team should be fairly strong. Have your daughter get in there and fight for minutes - while enjoying defending the title and trying to move up from last year's #1 county seeding

(Sounds like this may be a playing time issue. The note about 8th and 9th graders was quite vague - maybe this parent feels the young kids play too much)

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617368 09/11/15 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
There is a simple solution to this. Just don't worry about it. HS soccer is meaningless.


my daughter is one of the captains of her high school soccer team. i can assure you, high school soccer is not meaningless.


Another frustratingly common theme - HS is meaningless, HS soccer sucks, it's run by the history teacher, it's thuggish, etc. 1) it doesn't all suck; 2) many HS have qualified coaches that only coach soccer 3) it means a great deal to the kids playing it and to many of their parents as well. In fact it means a great deal to thousands and thousands yet a small group of soccer snobs feel the need to cr** all over it. Get over yourselves and accept it for what it is. No one is forcing you to watch it. No one is forcing your kid to play it. If your kid does play, be supportive and less critical. It's their experience, not yours.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617375 09/11/15 11:54 AM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Hewlett wins its first conference title in 21 years - and instead of priming your daughter to go for a repeat you rant and rave against the coach?

Seems they had a good group of underclassmen last season and the team should be fairly strong. Have your daughter get in there and fight for minutes - while enjoying defending the title and trying to move up from last year's #1 county seeding

(Sounds like this may be a playing time issue. The note about 8th and 9th graders was quite vague - maybe this parent feels the young kids play too much)


sorry - that should read #15 seeding

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617377 09/11/15 11:59 AM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
There is a simple solution to this. Just don't worry about it. HS soccer is meaningless.


my daughter is one of the captains of her high school soccer team. i can assure you, high school soccer is not meaningless.


Ok, how is it meaningful? Is your high school team going out and entering college showcases? Are the coaches calling colleges on your kids behalf? Are college coaches coming down to watch your games? For 99% of the high schools the answer is no to all of those questions. Let your kid have fun playing soccer with her friends and don't worry about the results.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617379 09/11/15 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
There is a simple solution to this. Just don't worry about it. HS soccer is meaningless.


my daughter is one of the captains of her high school soccer team. i can assure you, high school soccer is not meaningless.


OMG a high school captain!!! You must know everything!

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
lisoccer1 #617387 09/11/15 12:47 PM
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The private schools hire professional trainers for the teams. The coaches are more like managers.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
lisoccer1 #617397 09/11/15 01:27 PM
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Originally Posted By: lisoccer1
I am looking for recommendations on how to deal with a complete incompetent Girls HS Coach.

I've watched the variety coach for the Hewlett soccer team the past few years and I am at a complete loss of how he coaches, communicates and manages the team. The team did well last year in a lower division due strictly on the Keeper they had (she has gone on to play at Northeastern).

He has a surplus of players that he moved up from 8th & 9th grade... so many kids ride the bench, while their JV can barely field a team. Most of the players he moved up are not "the same caliber" as the older players.

I am sure that for parents of higher caliber players from club teams get frustrated with their school coaches, who are mostly not qualified and are looking for just another paycheck. And then there are some (such as Hewlett's women's varsity coach) who think they know the game well, when in fact they have no clue. To worsen matters, he suffers from a Napoleon complex and thinks he's the big man on campus.

I realize that for the top club players who also play school ball, it is more of the "social" experience. However, these children are accustomed to trainers who actually know what they are doing. Now they are exposed to a buffoon... what is a parent supposed to do?

The coaches don't want to hear from the parents... and that would certainly blowup at their child's expense. When the child speaks up, they are also "shut down" and dismissed (and we all know that our experienced players know the game far more than most HS coaches).

Any input is gladly welcome


you must be new to HS soccer. otherwise you'd know that there is little you can do. an experienced coach with a decent track record will keep his job unless he's caught sleeping with a student or something equally awful.

sit back and enjoy the ride. be a positive role model for your player. it will be over before you know it and soon enough hs is over - poof! - and you'll kind of miss it

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617400 09/11/15 01:48 PM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
There is a simple solution to this. Just don't worry about it. HS soccer is meaningless.


my daughter is one of the captains of her high school soccer team. i can assure you, high school soccer is not meaningless.


Ok, how is it meaningful? Is your high school team going out and entering college showcases? Are the coaches calling colleges on your kids behalf? Are college coaches coming down to watch your games? For 99% of the high schools the answer is no to all of those questions. Let your kid have fun playing soccer with her friends and don't worry about the results.

If you think HS soccer is so meaningless, why are you on this thread? My daughter is also captain of her team, all county, conference and league, team MVP and coaches award recipient and 3 year scholar athlete. Guess what, those things were way more important to the D1 school she is committed to, than losing a bunch of games with her club team in a high level tourney, were.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617411 09/11/15 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
There is a simple solution to this. Just don't worry about it. HS soccer is meaningless.


my daughter is one of the captains of her high school soccer team. i can assure you, high school soccer is not meaningless.


OMG a high school captain!!! You must know everything!


And today's dbag poster award goes to ...

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617413 09/11/15 02:12 PM
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HS soccer is meaningless to people who are hell bent on getting their kid a college scholarship.

I send my kids to school to get educated. Not just books, but life lessons. None of my kids would trade their HS soccer experiences for their Club games. Not the same thing.

Let the kids play and just enjoy the time they spend with their friends. Relax on the "college showcase" crap.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617417 09/11/15 02:24 PM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
There is a simple solution to this. Just don't worry about it. HS soccer is meaningless.


my daughter is one of the captains of her high school soccer team. i can assure you, high school soccer is not meaningless.


Ok, how is it meaningful? Is your high school team going out and entering college showcases? Are the coaches calling colleges on your kids behalf? Are college coaches coming down to watch your games? For 99% of the high schools the answer is no to all of those questions. Let your kid have fun playing soccer with her friends and don't worry about the results.


it's meaningful because she gets to play the game she loves and represent her town and high school. hearing her name on the morning announcements, after a game winning goal or assist, is an absolute source of pride for my daughter. we don't depend on college coaches for meaningful experiences. i am not worried about the results, but it's always more fun watching them win than lose.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617420 09/11/15 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
There is a simple solution to this. Just don't worry about it. HS soccer is meaningless.


my daughter is one of the captains of her high school soccer team. i can assure you, high school soccer is not meaningless.


Ok, how is it meaningful? Is your high school team going out and entering college showcases? Are the coaches calling colleges on your kids behalf? Are college coaches coming down to watch your games? For 99% of the high schools the answer is no to all of those questions. Let your kid have fun playing soccer with her friends and don't worry about the results.


it's meaningful because she gets to play the game she loves and represent her town and high school. hearing her name on the morning announcements, after a game winning goal or assist, is an absolute source of pride for my daughter. we don't depend on college coaches for meaningful experiences. i am not worried about the results, but it's always more fun watching them win than lose.


Sounds like a "you" problem.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617422 09/11/15 03:14 PM
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Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
Originally Posted By: Anonymous
There is a simple solution to this. Just don't worry about it. HS soccer is meaningless.


my daughter is one of the captains of her high school soccer team. i can assure you, high school soccer is not meaningless.


Another frustratingly common theme - HS is meaningless, HS soccer sucks, it's run by the history teacher, it's thuggish, etc. 1) it doesn't all suck; 2) many HS have qualified coaches that only coach soccer 3) it means a great deal to the kids playing it and to many of their parents as well. In fact it means a great deal to thousands and thousands yet a small group of soccer snobs feel the need to cr** all over it. Get over yourselves and accept it for what it is. No one is forcing you to watch it. No one is forcing your kid to play it. If your kid does play, be supportive and less critical. It's their experience, not yours.


“Meaning” can be defined in a few different ways. HS sports can be “meaningful” because the kids get to play with their friends in a sport they like, get exercise, learn responsibility, and have something to do after school other than hang out. I think the statement “meaningless” is more geared to the fact that college coaches do not come to watch HS games and the players do not get generally taught anything more than the know now. You could have a soccer knowledgeable coach, but he has to deal with a wide range of talent (or the lack there of) and that means better players will languish because the time must be spent with the lesser skilled ones.

The term “meaningless” does have more than one facet in this context.

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Re: Recommendations welcome: how to deal with an incompetent HS coach
Anonymous #617423 09/11/15 03:16 PM
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your daughter must be a superstar and is just a few years from going pro. all you want to worry about is showcasing her . get a life. she probably stinks and didnt make the hs team

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